Just thought I'd throw this out before our usual asshole does his
racist version.

A Visit from St. Nicholas
BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too€”
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes€”how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight€”
€œHappy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!€�




--
"I am a river to my people."
Jeff-1.0
WA6FWi
http:foxsmercantile.com

And the other two (2) Reindeer?

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

On 12/16/19 6:05 AM, wrote:
And the other two (2) Reindeer?

Well, I know about Rudolph, who's #10?


--
"I am a river to my people."
Jeff-1.0
WA6FWi
http:foxsmercantile.com

On Monday, December 16, 2019 at 8:11:33 AM UTC-5, Fox's Mercantile wrote:

And the other two (2) Reindeer?

Well, I know about Rudolph, who's #10?

That would be Twinkletoes. Rudolph's girlfriend who rides in the sleigh with Santa and helps with the presents.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

On 12/16/19 7:19 AM, wrote:
On Monday, December 16, 2019 at 8:11:33 AM UTC-5, Fox's Mercantile wrote:

And the other two (2) Reindeer?

Well, I know about Rudolph, who's #10?

That would be Twinkletoes. Rudolph's girlfriend who rides in the sleigh with Santa and helps with the presents.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

Clarice is the love interest and later girlfriend of Rudolph and one of
the tritagonists of the 1964 Rankin/Bass TV film Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer and the deuteragonist in it's 2001 sequel Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer and The Island Of Misfit Toys.


--
"I am a river to my people."
Jeff-1.0
WA6FWi
http:foxsmercantile.com

Remember: Deer have harems!

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

On 17/12/19 12:19 am, wrote:
On Monday, December 16, 2019 at 8:11:33 AM UTC-5, Fox's Mercantile wrote:
And the other two (2) Reindeer?
Well, I know about Rudolph, who's #10?
That would be Twinkletoes. Rudolph's girlfriend who rides in the sleigh with Santa and helps with the presents.

Then why are folk always bangin' on about Mary Christmas them?
Who's she?

Any well spoken individual using the English language correctly will understand that Mary, marry & merry have distinctly different pronunciations, and would so never mistake the three.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

On 2019/12/16 3:14 p.m., wrote:
Any well spoken individual using the English language correctly will understand that Mary, marry & merry have distinctly different pronunciations, and would so never mistake the three.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA


You'll need to type louder, I can't here you!

John ;-#)#

On 17/12/19 10:14 am, wrote:
Any well spoken individual using the English language correctly will understand that Mary, marry & merry have distinctly different pronunciations, and would so never mistake the three.


Apologies for forgetting that you're a humorless SOB

On Sun, 15 Dec 2019 10:05:00 -0600, Fox's Mercantile
wrote:

Just thought I'd throw this out before our usual asshole does his
racist version.

I'll wait for the anti-semitic version.

I think I wrote these about 20 years ago:
http://members.cruzio.com/~jeffl/poetry/stnick.htm
http://members.cruzio.com/~jeffl/poetry/irs1.htm


Hmmm... 46 versions and the meter is still in need of
repair. Maybe next year.

T'was the Day Before Christmas
by Jeff Liebermann 7/26/2015
Version 1.46

The day before Christmas,
and all through the shop,
all was in crisis,
with problems non-stop.

Nothing was working,
and I had to wait,
for Fedex arriving,
with parts that were late.

The phone was a ringing,
and drop-ins galore,
demanding their machines,
with promise of more.

The boxes were stuffed
with spyware to find,
with virus and malware,
and updates behind.

The PC's on benches,
with junk on the floor,
If I find some more room,
I'll work on some more.

But then with a beep,
a crash and a hang,
a laptop destructed,
with a tiny bang.

No lights, no power,
no fan, no clue.
a total failure,
not much I can do.

And then came a crashing,
a smash and a thud,
my office invaded,
by kids wanting blood.

My PC, my MacBook,
my printer, not done.
If I don't deliver,
There will be no fun.

No way to be ready,
I can only dream.
I have a solution.
I'll go get ice cream.



Happy Hannukah and Bah Humbug.

--
Jeff Liebermann
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558

On 12/17/19 1:00 AM, Jeff Liebermann wrote:
I'll wait for the anti-semitic version.

This was the best I could do. ;-)

Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.

But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.

The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.

Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"

So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots --
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded "The T," bound for old Chinatown.

In search of a restaurant: "Which one? Lets decide!"
We chose "Hunan Chozer," and ventured inside.
Around us sat other Jews, their platters piled high
With the finest of foods their money could buy:

There was roast duck and fried fake squid, (sweet, sour and spiced,)
Dried kosher beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and fried rice,
Whole fish and moo shi and "shrimp" chow mee foon,
And General Gaus chicken and ma po tofu....

When at last we decided, and the waiter did call,
We said: "Skip the menu!" and ordered it all.
And when in due time the food was all made,
It came to the table in a sort of parade.

Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls,
And four different soups, in four great, huge bowls.
The courses kept coming, from spicy to mild,
And higher and higher toward the ceiling were piled.

So much piled up, one dish after the other,
My girlfriend and I couldn't see one another!
Now we sat there, we two, without proper utensils,
While they handed us something that looked like two pencils.

We ate till we couldn't and drank down our teas
And barely had room for our fortune cookies.
But my fortune was perfect; it summed up the mood
When it said: "Even if it was kosher, it was still Chinese food!."
And my girlfriend-well ... she got a real winner;
Hers said: "Your companion will pay for the dinner."

Our bellies were full and at last it was time
To travel back home and write some bad rhyme
Of our Chinatown trek (and to privately speak
About trying to refine our chopstick technique).

The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night;
"Good Yom Tov to all-and to all a Good Night!"



--
"I am a river to my people."
Jeff-1.0
WA6FWi
http:foxsmercantile.com

In article ,
says...

Well, I know about Rudolph, who's #10?




Randolph the red neck reindeer.

On Monday, December 16, 2019 at 7:13:06 PM UTC-5, Clifford Heath wrote:
On 17/12/19 10:14 am, wrote:
Any well spoken individual using the English language correctly will understand that Mary, marry & merry have distinctly different pronunciations, and would so never mistake the three.


Apologies for forgetting that you're a humorless SOB


That would be with the little finger lifted while sipping Cockburn's Port, to you!

On Mon, 16 Dec 2019 15:14:18 -0800 (PST), "
wrote:

Any well spoken individual using the English language correctly will understand that Mary, marry & merry have distinctly different pronunciations, and would so never mistake the three.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

I read that the different pronunciations of these words is only among
people who grew up in the Mid-Atlantic states. Since I'm from South
Jersey and do pronounce them differently, I don't know if this is true
or not.

On Tuesday, December 17, 2019 at 12:42:59 PM UTC-5, Chuck wrote:

I read that the different pronunciations of these words is only among
people who grew up in the Mid-Atlantic states. Since I'm from South
Jersey and do pronounce them differently, I don't know if this is true
or not.

Neither of my parents spoke English as a first language. I was born in Chicago, raised in Ann Arbor, MI, NYC and Austin, TX. But, I have found that when we lived in other parts of the world and crossed paths mostly with Brits, the same distinctions obtained.

I have noticed that South Jersey speakers tend to have much cleaner, clearer tones and sounds than as one approaches NY and, at the very core of regionalism, Brooklyn, NY.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA

On Tue, 17 Dec 2019 02:06:49 -0600, Fox's Mercantile
wrote:

On 12/17/19 1:00 AM, Jeff Liebermann wrote:
I'll wait for the anti-semitic version.

This was the best I could do. ;-)

Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
(...)
The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night;
"Good Yom Tov to all-and to all a Good Night!"

The story is great, the meter is marginal, and the rhyme needs some
work. Otherwise, I really like it. I didn't know that you wrote
poetry. I only write poetry when I'm irate, angry, frustrated, ****ed
off, overloaded, and generally disgusted with everything and need to
unload. Hopefully, you have a better rationalization.

More of the same:
http://members.cruzio.com/~jeffl/poetry/poetry.htm



--
Jeff Liebermann
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558

On 18/12/19 11:29 am, Jeff Liebermann wrote:
On Tue, 17 Dec 2019 02:06:49 -0600, Fox's Mercantile
wrote:

On 12/17/19 1:00 AM, Jeff Liebermann wrote:
I'll wait for the anti-semitic version.

This was the best I could do. ;-)

Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
(...)
The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night;
"Good Yom Tov to all-and to all a Good Night!"

The story is great, the meter is marginal, and the rhyme needs some
work. Otherwise, I really like it. I didn't know that you wrote
poetry. I only write poetry when I'm irate, angry, frustrated, ****ed
off, overloaded, and generally disgusted with everything and need to
unload. Hopefully, you have a better rationalization.

More of the same:
http://members.cruzio.com/~jeffl/poetry/poetry.htm

There were some absolutely wonderful contributions to the #AltHallelujah
thread on Twitter in the past couple of days. Apparently some company
took Leonard Cohen's song (which is most definitely *not* a Christmas
song!) and put it to some religious words.

In scorn of such a depredation, folk contributed "alternate hallelujah"
lyrics to the same rhyme and meter.

Start he https://twitter.com/hashtag/AltHallelujah or he
https://twitter.com/EllenKushner and scroll back a few days

Hilarious and clever.

CH