If you want to know why he pounds his pud at the Post Office behind a
rather masculine woman he claims is his girlfriend Dori.....

AT ONCE I HAD TWO GIRLFRIENDS NAMED DUSSTY AND SARA. SARA HAD THE
WORLDS BIGGEST GAZANGAS. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DUSTY ENDED THE DAY I
FOUND OUT SHE ABORTED MY SON AND SARA BROKE UP WITH ME AFTER I SHOWED
HER THE 40,000 DOLLAR CADILLAC I BOUGHT HER. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE
COULDN'T SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE WITH A MAN WHO ONLY LIVES TO
ANTAGANIZE HIS BOSS. I CALLED HER A SACK OF ****, AND THAT WAS THAT.

TODAY, HOWEVER, MY BESTEST BUDDY JOHN PIGYE AND I WALKED OUT OF OUR
APARTMENT BUTT NAKED TOGETHER OUT TO THE CAR AND WE DROVE AROUND TOWN
FOR ABOUT AN HOUR WITH OUR NEW STEREO SYSTEM. IT'S GOT 4000 WATTS OF
BASE AND A SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO, OF COURSE.