On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:52:55 GMT, "Joe AutoDrill"
wrote:
MINDSET LISTŪ FOR THE CLASS OF 2009
Shamelessly stolen from:
http://www.beloit.edu/~pubaff/releases/mindset_2009.htm
Most students entering college this fall were born in 1987.
1. Andy Warhol, Liberace, Jackie Gleason, and Lee Marvin have always been
dead.
Excepting Messrs. Gleason and Marvin, this is greatly to their
benefit.
2. They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.
Having suffered through working on a newspaper that was literally cut
out with an X-Acto knife and pasted down with wax, I would not wish
to encumber them with such.
3. Heart-lung transplants have always been possible.
It is we who lived with the possibility. They enjoy a world where it
is a day to day fact. God bless them in their ignorance.
4. Wayne Gretzky never played for Edmonton.
The Great White Whine. Little to be mourned there.
5. Boston has been working on "The Big Dig" all their lives.
This merely indicates that altruism and public works go hand in hand.
6. With little need to practice, most of them do not know how to tie a tie.
As we have little experience with the proper fixing of a nose ring.
7. Pay-Per-View television has always been an option.
Perhaps for some, although I do not count myself among them.
8. They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station wagon
with six others.
The only difference that I can perceive between station wagons and
SUV's is the latter's abundance of cup holders.
9. Iran and Iraq have never been at war with each other.
Surely even a less than keen study of history would prove otherwise.
10. They are more familiar with Greg Gumbel than with Bryant Gumbel.
Familiarity in either instance would certainly breed the same
contempt.
11. Philip Morris has always owned Kraft Foods.
Differing in their poisonous content only by degree.
12. Al-Qaida has always existed with Osama bin Laden at its head.
But they lack all knowledge of Pol Pot, Papa Doc, George Wallace and
Don Ho.
13. They learned to count with Lotus 1-2-3.
A most decidedly cellular error.
14. Car stereos have always rivaled home component systems.
Only in the bassist way.
15. Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker have never preached on television.
God bless them, every one. And they don't ken who Tammy Faye and Fawn
are, either.
16. Voice mail has always been available.
Do you not regret the extinction of the secretary?
17. "Whatever" is not part of a question but an expression of sullen rebuke.
"Whatever" was never part of a question.
18. The federal budget has always been more than a trillion dollars.
The number of zeros have always been incomprehensible to the preceding
generation.
19. Condoms have always been advertised on television.
Yes, but that "Clap The Light On" thing has mercifully become past
tense.
I promised myself that I would stop before a score. I've barely made
it.
Although the initiator of this swill is to be commended for his
memory, my personal thinking is that the current generation has a
current war to remind them of an earlier one, and it is always thus.
They have a leader who lacks as others have lacked before him, and it
shall always be thus.
They have the problem to solve of how to continue this great
experiment, with a constantly increasing number of variables, and it
is as it has always been - and so shall it be.
God bless them, every one.
Tom Watson - WoodDorker
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (email)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ (website)