We both have some discretionary money to use as we please.

So many seem to miss the value of this.

My wife and I have had our own "spending money" for years. As our
fortunes have waxed and waned, so has the figure available for each to
blow, but it's always been ours to do as we please.

Our helpful hints:

#1 - The amounts have nothing to do with what each of us brings home,
it's 50/50 of the total household budget available for spending. It's
OUR money, not my paycheck and her paycheck. Sink and swim together.

#2 - Include clothing in the spending category, and increase the number
by whatever would have been budgeted for clothing. Clothing is often an
argument for married folks, and this eliminates the want/need
justification issue.

My tools are split. What's honestly necessary to repair / maintain /
upgrade the household is a household expense.

For example: I bought an $1800 cabinet saw, when in reality, I could
have gotten by with a $600 contractor's saw. $600 - household, $1200
- my spending money. Flooring nailer - full price as a household
expense, off to eBay it goes when I'm done flooring the house.

In my experience, if you have to lie, you usually can't afford it, which
means you probably shouldn't be buying it. That goes for everyone who
has access to the household funds!

I've taken temporary part-time jobs to buy items we couldn't afford, but
I really wanted.

Honesty and communication = peace & enjoyment of your "stuff" G