On Mon, 18 Apr 2005 17:12:45 GMT, "Alan Holmes"
wrote:

Have you got a plan/design?

Why was the Pope buried in something designed for the shoulders of a
quarterback, the no-neck of Mike Tyson and the feet of Pavlova ?


IMHE, 1/2" oak ready-veneered plywood and biscuit joints. The sides sit
on top of the base. Glueblocks in the inside corners. Solid oak trim
wrapped around top and bottom edge to hide the bare edges. Lid is the
same. Oil finish, then wax over it. Don't try to make glossy coffins -
buy good veneer instead and go with a semi-matt oil - it looks _far_
classier, especially when next to a grand's work of factory rubbish.

If you're not happy with the geometry or the measuring, just make a
rectangle.

Handles are cast brass pub door handles (rectangular base and rod
handle) from a salvage yard. Lid goes on over dowel screws (woodscrew
one end, machine screw the other) into the edges of the base and brass
acorn nuts on the top look presentable (Undertakers carry screwdrivers
from habit, but it seems not spanners)

Staple-gun upholstery over lightweight batting. Staple the top edge in
first, pleating it a little and stapling from inside the hem. Then flop
it over and drape it loosely to the middle. Either hide the bottoms by
stapling inside the pleats, or upholster a hardboard drop-in panel for
the base and catch the sides under it. Or if it's a closed coffin and
only the layer-out will see it, just don't bother lining it at all.

The trouble with DIY coffins is that you may literally have just 2 days
max to build and finish them. You have to be _quick_ and reliable.

As an aside, it is _very_ difficult to store a corpse (Oh, Google is
going to love this posting). You may well end up laying them out at home
(or in the residential home) and re-creating the full-on traditional
wake! Hospitals, mortuaries and especially funeral directors will not
want to help here.

It's difficult to load coffins in and out of estate cars. Use sawn-down
broomhandles as rollers. You also need tie-downs when driving to stop it
moving - even when empty (scratch the finish on delivery and you'll be
joining the deceased inside it).

It _is_ possible to recover bodies from abroad too, but the paperwork is
terrifying. I only know one person who's done this, and he was insane
(really - it did for him).