In article , Mary
Fisher wrote:

The undertakers, those caring people with knowledge and experience
and with the utmost concern for the bereaved, loll around outside
while the service is going on, smoking. It hardly adds dignity to
the event.

In many smaller firms the bearers are not undertakers as such,
probably firemen on their day off (nice little earners like this are
why you should take their pay claims with a pinch of salt)

I do think that there are more than a few firms in the funeral
business who do want to work in an ethical way.

I'm sure you're right, but how do you know which they are?

That is the big question. And of course when SCI/Dignity or whoever
buy a family firm the one thing they do not do is change the name so
that they can trade on the goodwill of the formerly independent
business, notwithstanding that the ethic may now be very different.
One of the great scandals - IMHO of course - was in the late 1990's
when SCI were getting so much bad press. The one party, Age Concern,
who might have been interested said nothing whilst continuing to sell
Age Concern branded SCI funeral plans for healthy commissions.

In any case recommendation can only take you so far, in that unless
you are in the business or have arranged lots of funerals you are
unlikely to know how good the firm really is - you probably recognise
bad treatment, but not mediocrity: to get back on topic much as lay
people employing plumbers and electricians: they just don't have the
knowledge to know how good a job has been done - and why should they?

As I've lived in the same place all my life and have been in the same
church since I was six I have been to ?50 funerals and have seen
those who do a better or worse job of directing: IMO there's a fine
balance between being too directive and failing to give that little
bit of guidance that would be appreciated. And fortunately in most
cases the funeral has been taken by someone who knew the deceased
well and so can talk meaningfully about them: for me this is the
biggest determinant of how 'good' a funeral is.

That, with respect, is meaningless. What you see on television or
in the papers is what's been chosen to be featured.

The three that have been in the fly-on-the-wall documentaries have
obviously chosen to be so, and one would expect them to be firms who
reckon that the exposure will do them no harm. One of them, Gillmans,
www.funeral.org.uk (not quite sure about the ethics of that URL) has
been a Natural Death Centre's award winner. Perhaps they are rogues
but the open approach of their website with all the prices and an
expressed willingness to help anyone who wants to DIY with free
advice and menu pricing for particular services does strike a very
positive note with me.


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