Hysterical!

--

Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
www.mormons.com


"Cliff" wrote in message
...
(Stolen from
(Stolen from alt.aol.tricks)

These are various conversations computer users
have had when calling the technical help desk.

************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
************************************************** *********
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet.
It's still on my desk... Sorry...
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the
left side of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me, and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates !
************************************************** *********
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it.
************************************************** *********
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................Thank you.
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
************************************************** *********
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that
one does work!
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
************************************************** *********
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my friend do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
************************************************** *********
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears!
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the circle around it?
************************************************** *********