Metalworking (rec.crafts.metalworking) Discuss various aspects of working with metal, such as machining, welding, metal joining, screwing, casting, hardening/tempering, blacksmithing/forging, spinning and hammer work, sheet metal work.

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Stormin Mormon
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Default OT - Helpdesk War Stories



Christopher A. Young
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"Cliff" wrote in message
(Stolen from
(Stolen from

These are various conversations computer users
have had when calling the technical help desk.

************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
************************************************** *********
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet.
It's still on my desk... Sorry...
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the
left side of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me, and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates !
************************************************** *********
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it.
************************************************** *********
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................Thank you.
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
************************************************** *********
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that
one does work!
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
************************************************** *********
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my friend do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
************************************************** *********
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears!
************************************************** *********
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the circle around it?
************************************************** *********

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