[
Undocumented 8088/8086/80286/80386 Instruction Set

Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations
called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO,
the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch). These
instructions are frequently abbreviated into total
incomprehensibility.

Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary.
Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows
that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented
set of instructions. Frequently when an error is made
writing a program in assembler, a user can actually see the
program executing the undocumented instructions.

These instruction vary from machine to machine, but all
computers have a certain set of them in common. As a
service to humanity, I am here revealing these common
instructions for the first time.

ARG Agree to Run Garbage
BDM Branch and Destroy Memory
CMN Convert to Mayan Numerals
DDS Damage Disk and Stop
EMR Emit Microwave Radiation
ETA Emulate Toaster Oven
FSE Fake Serious Error
GSI Garble Subsequent Instruction
GQS Go Quarter Speed
HEM Hide Evidence of Malfunction
IDD Inhale Dust and Die
IKI Ignore Keyboard Input
IMU Irradiate and Mutate User
JPF Jam Paper Feed
JUM Jeer at User Mistake
KFP Kindle Fire in Printer
LNM Launch Nuclear Missiles
MAW Make Aggravating Whine
NNI Neglect Next Instruction
OBU Overheat and Burn if Unattended
PNG Pass Noxious Gas
QWF Quit Working Forever
QVC Question Valid Command
RWD Read Wrong Device
SCE Simulate Correct Execution
SDJ Send Data to Japan
TTC Tangle Tape and Crash
UBC Use Bad Chip
VDP Violate Design Parameters
VMB Verify and Make Bad
WAF Warn After Fact
XID eXchange Instruction with data
YII Yield to Irresistible Impulse
ZAM Zero All Memory
]