On Tue, 28 Dec 2004 10:46:37 +1100, "Jeff R."
calmly ranted:


"pyotr filipivich" wrote in message
.. .
...
Heck, I can remember having to make due with only a black and white
television, no cell phone, and the only phone in the house was a rotary
dial model!

From Monty Python:

========================
"Yorkshireman IV: You were LUCKY! We lived for three months in a

One of my MP faves:

THE PET SHOP

Pd: Good morning, I'd like to buy a cat.
L: Certainly sir. I've got a lovely terrier. [Indicates a case on the
counter]
Pd: No, I want a cat really.
L: [Taking case off counter and then putting it back on counter as if
it is a different case] Oh yeah, how about that?
Pd: [Looking in case] No, that's the terrier.
L: Well, it's as near as, dammit.
Pd: Well what do you mean? I want a cat.
L: Listen, tell you what. I'll file its legs down a bit, take its
snout out, stick a few wires through its cheeks. There you are, a
lovely pussy cat.
Pd: It's not a proper cat.
L: What do you mean?
Pd: Well, it wouldn't meow.
L: Well, it would howl a bit.
Pd: No, no, no, no. Um, have you got a parrot?
L: No, I'm afraid not actually guv, we're fresh out of parrots. I'll
tell you what though...I'll lop its back legs off, make good, strip
the fur, stick a couple of wings on and staple on a beak of your own
choice. [taking small box and rattling it] No problem. Lovely parrot.
Pd: How long would that take?
L: Oh, let me see...er, stripping the fur off, no legs ...
[calling]...Harry...can you do a parrot job on this terrier straight
away?
H: [off-screen] No, I'm still putting a tuck in the airedale, and then
I got the frogs to let out.
L: Friday?
Pd: No I need it for tomorrow. I have a gig.
L: Oh dear, it's a long job. You see parrot conversion ... Tell you
what though, for free, terriers make lovely fish. I mean I could do
that for you straight away. Legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe
through the back of its neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint,
make good...
Pd: You'd need a very big tank.
L: It's a great conversation piece.
Pd: Yes, all right, all right...but, er, only if I can watch.

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If God approved of nudity, we all would have been born naked.
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