When you say "3-way" - do you mean 2-pole center thow - with center
off? A switch that can be set to 3 different physical positions?

What I heard is that its called "3-way" because wires are run to 3
locations (2 switches and light/fan). If you have three switches, its 4-way.

I was looking for either a paddle or decora-style 3-way (with center
off) but they're not available at home despot (canada) but they are in
the US, and they're like $50. I seem to remember them being more common
years ago (and not so expensive) - ?

A double-throw switch does have center off, although it can be difficult
to get the switch into that position (a spring tries to pull it away
from the center). I have had this happen accidentally, one switch in
this (center) position means the light can't be turned on at the other
location.

--
101 days until the winter celebration (Wed, Dec 25, 2019 12:00:00 AM for
1 day).

Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.us/

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." [Robert Heinlein,
"Notebooks of Lazarus Long"]