"First lose the glow plug, more smoke = more surface area for the oil to
cook on."

I saw o mention of it being a diesel. If the OP doesn't know or lacks the presence of mind to include that information I give the **** up. Take it to someone who knows what they're doing then.

There is no accounting for stupidity though, you know you ask many people if they bought or leased their new of fairly new car they actually don't know. Yes, even though I walk through the valley of stupidity that one took me slightly aback... I mean seriously, don't LET them people try to change their own tire.