On Fri, 21 Apr 2017 20:03:18 +0100, Rod Speed wrote:



"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 21 Apr 2017 03:09:20 +0100, Rod Speed
wrote:



"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news On Fri, 21 Apr 2017 00:36:17 +0100, Rod Speed
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"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news On Wed, 19 Apr 2017 19:53:21 +0100, Rod Speed

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"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news On Wed, 19 Apr 2017 01:41:09 +0100, Rod Speed

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"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news On Wed, 19 Apr 2017 00:12:06 +0100, Rod Speed

wrote:

Yeah, that's a massive downside with dogs, particularly
the ones that just bark because they are bored out of
their minds with the owner at work etc.

Mine never did that but would bark at any
visitors even if the one visitor showed up say
10 times in the one day for some reason as
they keep borrowing stuff to do some diy etc.

You seem to lend a lot of tools.

Yeah, I do. Mainly because since I build my house from scratch
on a bare block of land, I have a lot more tools than anyone
else does and don't mind lending them as long as its likely they
wont get buggered or will be replaced if they do get buggered.

Even now, because of the garage sales where the stuff is so cheap
that I always get something like a ladder or vice or still or beer
capper that is better than what I currently have, I have lots more
of almost everything than almost everyone I know.

I have something like 15 beer brewing barrel and so am the
obvious one to borrow one from if you need to borrow one.

You must be popular with your neighbours.

Yeah, I know them all and lend most of them quite a bit of stuff.
Respond first when their alarm goes off too, although another
of the neighbours is usually there pretty soon after I am.

Why bother?

Because we have all been burgled at one time or another.

I haven't.

You will be.

Most people never are.

Bull****. Bet you can't find a single
person in here that has never been.

48 houses in my street of 50.

What kind of place do you live in?

Just the same as most people where burglarys do happen.

Only happens regularly in cities here.

Bull****.

No, it's true. We aren't all thieves like you lot. Only cities full of pakis have that problem.

In 17 years in my street of 50 houses (in a small town), there have been
two burglaries, both non-standard.

That's because you're all povs/chavs with nothing work taking.

It's the chavvy areas where they have more thefts. They steal from each other.

One was some golf clubs out of the boot of an open car. The other was a
living room double glazing unit that had just been put in. Never known
any house contents to go.

Then why does everyone have alarms that
you want to smash when they false trigger ?

They don't, there are only two alarms at this end of the street.

The house one house away has just recently been burnt to the ground by
a
complete ****ing loony, fortunately when the owners were away on
holiday.

Are Aussies all neanderthals or something?

Nope, this one was quite literally barking mad. She was 'living'
up in the roof of what you lot call a council house because she
believed that her place was inhabited by demons. That's why
she torched the place next but one to my place, she believed
it was too.

Was she jailed?

Nar, off to the loony bin. Quite literally barking mad.

I fail to see the point, they can't cure it.

Don't you have a police force?

Corse we do, but it isnt possible for cops
to avoid everything like that happening.

From what I've heard they seem to concentrate on the easy **** like
speeding motorists.

They didn't with this one and caught her quite quickly.

99.99999% of alarms are false.

It isnt as high as that with most of the neighbours.

It is here.

I don't believe that.

I must hear one every couple of weeks. Yet only two burglaries in 17
years.

So it isnt just your cats that are barking
mad, its all your neighbours too.

No, it's the alarms that are ****.

Annoying alarms with no burglar in sight.

Sure, most of ours are too, but nothing like that high a percentage.

People have motion/vibration sensors, probably picking up a cat through
the window or a bird hitting the window.

Our are mostly PIRs in the house.

Which will see movement of a cat.

If I call the police they don't care.

I go and check myself to see if it's a false alarm or not.

I don't, unless it's 3am, then I go and find out who I'm to yell at when
they return home.

I usually don't bother to ring the neighbour when their
system false alarms, he can see it on the alarm system
when he gets home and can see that I checked that it was
a false alarm from the camera footage that he checks now.

First question they ask is "can you see a burglar". If not, they don't
bother coming out.

And that is the sensible way to operate.

Most burglars would hide out of sight if they saw someone looking.

Not even possible with my neighbour's place.

Must be a small place if they can't hide.

It's up to us to take the alarm off the wall with a brick.

Ours time out. It's a legal requirement.

Legal requirement here, but there's a loophole. After 15 minutes it must
shut off, but it's allowed to start again something like 5 minutes later!

Yeah, ours do too, but they don't usually false alarm again immediately.

The ones here seem to run again and again until someone shuts them off. They should sound for 15 minutes, then stop forever until they're reset.

I have had the neighbours one do that the one time, forget what the
problem was, think one of the PIRs inside the house failed or something.

Alarms are a ****ing nuisance.

But do get the neighbours here checking when
they go off because we all know each other very
well indeed some of us for over 50 years now.

And here we realise that the electronics are too sensitive and have
probably detected a cat touching a pane of glass.

It was like that for a while, but retweeking the system fixed that.

Clearly installers or DIYers here are too stupid to do that.

He wasn't. Not that cheap to get it retweeked tho.

They aren't exactly complicated devices, could do it themselves ffs.

Anyway, even if each alarm that's installed gives only one false alarm
before being tweaked, that is WAY too much noise pollution. It's an
extremely irritating sound.

I'm not that obsessive. I'd rather they didn't ever false alarm,
but given that we have all been burgled at one time, I don't
mind having to put the phone in my pocket, wander around
their place checking if it's a false alarm and yawning when it is.

Didn't even mind it going off all thru the night the one time.

ALL NIGHT?! That would drive me insane enough to beat the **** out of the fool that owned the alarm. I'd be so ****ed off I wouldn't care if I was done for assault.

No system is ever perfect.

Which is why they shouldn't have them at all.

The last time the grandkids had been there for a birthday party. Everyone
had left and after a few days the helium had leaked out of a balloon up
on the ceiling and it drifted down to the floor and set the alarm off.

Which only goes to show alarms are not intelligent enough for their task.

Sure. But it isnt economically practical to have a system
that allows for stuff like that with residential houses.

You don't see the banks systems false triggering with stuff like that.

Banks have a lot to lose. The extremely minor chance of losing a TV is not enough to have an alarm.

On one other occasion you could see where someone had tried
to jemmy a window and had got scared off by the alarm and had
put a chair against the back fence and gone over it on the way out.

I doubt a burglar would run away from an alarm here as nobody looks.

Bet they would keep an eye out for someone looking.

If the burglar is in the living room with the curtains shut, nobody can see them.

On another occasion the crim was visible on the surveillance
cameras that were installed after the previous incident.

Cameras are a much better idea than alarms. They don't wake everyone up.

But don't warn the burglar off

They do if they're visible. You should also have hidden ones viewing the visible ones, so they can get done for breaking them.

and are mostly pretty
useless for putting the druggy burglar in jail.

A picture of him in the act of stealing is enough evidence.

Even with retail shops, the burglars usually have enough of
a clue to cover their faces with a balaclava etc so the footage
doesn't see one of the local cops say "that's that bugger fred
again" and frog march him off to the magistrate.

Burglary must be a big business over there. Here it's just a few idiots that aren't bright enough to cover their faces.

And even if that's possible, he'll have flogged the stuff
to his drug dealer before the cops can find him anyway.

Legalise drugs, remove the problem.

Much better to have the alarm go off, someone like me
show up and scare him off before he gets into the house.

And a ****ing loud bark too. One time I was over at
the shops around the corner which must be atleast
500m or more away and it was perfectly obviously
that a visitor had showed up at my place.

Remote burglar alarm.

Yeah, didn't work with work tho, much too far away to hear.

And no one was ever game to try stealing anything
with that ****ing great alsatian inside the house
going bananas at anyone stupid enough to try it.

Why are people scared of dogs?

Why are people scared of mice, spiders, snakes etc ?

Spiders are disgusting,

Only if you are neurotic about spiders.

More legs than body, simply wrong.

No reason to be scared of them.

I'm more disgusted than scared.

No reason to be disgusted either.

More leg than body, that's simply wrong.

Our ****ing great huntsmans that can be as big as your hand
are quite interesting. I had one as pet when I was a kid.

YUCK!

I just squash the redbacks. Let the daddy long legs do their thing.

I do fly spray the bugger that insists on living in my car wing
mirrors, but that's because its web is a nuisance there.

I hoover up spiders and other insects, then seal the end of the pipe. By the time the bag is emptied, they're all dead.

Ever had one enter your mouth while you're sleeping?

I don't sleep with my mouth open.

How do you know?

I don't get a dry mouth.

Saliva.

I don't snore either.

Neither do I, I was told I don't. But observing if someone sleeps with their mouth open would be unusual.

I'd rather they didn't exist on the planet.

They likely feel the same way about you.

That's their problem. I can stand on them and kill them. I am superior.

Cant stand on daddy long legs, they are up at ceiling level.

That's what the hoover is for. We have tool use.

a lot of snakes are poisonous.

Hardly any of them are.

Prove it.

Look at the stats.

Actually ALL snakes are venemous.

Pigs arse they are. Pythons kill by
wrapping themselves around the prey.

They're still venemous.

It's the way we evolved presumably.

Same reason most cats are scared of cucumbers etc.

I tried that with mine, all 5 did nothing.

Sure, but yours are clearly damned weird. Not one of the cats
in those videos of Dave's do anything like yours do with cat flaps.

And mine aren't stupid enough to react to a dead vegetable.

But clearly some are.

I tried 6 cats!

Sure but they are so inbred that they are barking mad.

Jumping at a cucumber is mad. Mine don't do that, so they're more sensible.

Those youtube videos arent faked.

Probably American cats, they're probably as stupid as the people.

Neither are dave's cat flap videos.

Pretty easy to kill/stun/scare off a dog using a heavy implement.

You wont do that with the big dogs.

A rock slammed into their face would stop them.

Nope, you'd get savaged picking up the rock.

I'd like to see them try.

Plenty of crims not only see them try, they feel them do it.

Then their reactions are slower than mine.

Nope, you don't have a ****ing clue how those dogs operate.

Never had a problem with people's big dogs here, including ones I've been told will remove my hand. On several occasions I've been caught petting a huge dog and the owner comes running out worried I'm going to get injured.

Or burrrrglarrr alarrrrrum as they say in Glasgow.

And he had the cheek to report me for noisy parrots.

Yeah, they can be quite noisy. I have a long run of very
big gum trees etc down the 100' long side of the house
and we get big swarms of galahs, 50-100 birds in the
flock, show up and all camp overnight in my trees,
jabbering away to each other about the state of my jungle.

I blocked off my bedroom window with sound insulation so I can't
hear
the
neighbours when I'm in bed.

I only have massive great 8'x8' patio doors instead of
windows in the bedrooms and the heavy armoured
glass is surprisingly effective against most noise.

Armoured glass?

Toughened glass so even if you try walking thru it by accident,

Most people aren't that stupid.

Yes, but the law requires that with patio doors because some
are and the results can be very dramatic when they do that.

Why does the law protect the stupid?

Because they can be kids who don't know any better etc.

Being a kid is no excuse for being as stupid as a housefly.

All kids have to learn stuff.

They should learn what glass is long before they're walking about on their own. My parrots don't fly into the window....

All that does is make the next generation even more useless than the
current one.

We do in fact do a lot better than cave men did.
They couldn't drive cars and fly planes etc.

They probably could if they existed.

Nope, we know they can't because people showed up in
them with the few remaining savages and found they couldn't.

Someone in our society who had never driven a car couldn't ether. Just watch a learner driver get in a car for the first time.

The most stupid in PNG ended up with a full religion with the
silly buggers praying to skys for more stuff to show up in a plane.

Anyone religious is stupid. The world is still full of them.

I waited till he went to sleep then put equally powerful speakers
against the dividing wall. He moved out after only 1 year.

Can be interesting when you walk out of the
house and the entire crew all take off at once.

And **** all over my car.

I was thinking your head.

Nar, that's never happened.

I once had a seagull **** in some chips I'd just bought.

I did just the once have bird **** on me as it
flew past as a kid, but never any other time.

Lots of birds around currently, we had the wettest
5 months on record thru the winter here.

Been very dry up here. England is considering hosepipe bans. I
ignore
those, they're pointless, 96% of water usage is industrial.

I mostly just notice the sillier calls some of them
have and make snide remarks about bird brains.

What is a "silly" bird call?

I'll record one. Remarkably silly.

[waits]

Didn't hear any yesterday.

[waits more]

Still none, and since its sposed to drizzle a bit today, unlikely to be
any
today either.

Soggy continent :-) I haven't had rain in weeks.

We didn't for months. Only got 7mm. More due on Tuesday tho.

How do you guys get enough drinking water? Do you have desalination plants?

His complaint failed, as by law the council had to tell me they
were going to make a recording, so I put them indoors :-)

That's when he poisoned the cats and they ended up so weird }-(

I didn't have them at that point. Another neighbour has reported
me
to
the SSPCA for having "15 underfed cats breeding out of control".
They
came round and found 5 cats well looked after. I told them to
fine
them
for wasting the charity's time, but apparently it happens all the
time
and they don't care?

I've only ever had the one complaint to the council, when the
silly woman who I know so well that they chose to buy the bare
block of land next to me after we were all living in that block
of flats discovered a snake. Not even a poisonous one.

They complained about you because of a snake?!

Yep, I don't bother to mow my lawns and it's a bit of a jungle.

Lot of a jungle, actually.

Not really your fault then.

True.

Did they think it was your pet?

Nope.

Did they not realise they are living wild in Australia?

It was just her, he's not that stupid.

Women are of lower intelligence.

That one certainly is. Rabid god botherer too.

Oh dear. They ought to eradicate all god worshippers. Bring back
Hitler.

Bit hard, the corpse was burnt and we havent worked
out how to clone humans from burnt bones yet.

Or someone similar.

No one has got within a bulls roar of him for centurys.

Even Vlad the Impaler wasn't a patch on him.

Trump and BNP are getting there.

--
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.