On 08/21/2014 9:43 AM, amdx wrote:
....

She did care for mom and I have thanked her for that.
On the other hand, she and her girlfriend used mom's house to land for
several weeks at a time over the years, using mom's meager SS, for
housing, hot water, heat, cool and food. She also spent our $20K+ and
has had over two years in the house without paying anything for my half.
....

The question in these cases most often isn't one of the actual value
received but the person's self-perception of the value of the services
rendered. The two are rarely consistent on an objective scale although
a realistic accounting of the costs of replacement outside help if the
family member weren't there can be staggering.

So again, the awareness of what the other person really thinks their
value is/has been is a major factor and probably won't verbalize it in
hard numbers but has just a perception of whether it was or was not
commensurate.

And, of course, when there's a prior history of less than stellar
personal responsibility, that surely skews the bookkeeping.

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