On 08/21/2014 9:14 AM, amdx wrote:
....

Here's where I made it worse, I actually signed paperwork with a realtor
that she called, I pointed out she should try to stay in the house,
because she will never be able to rent any place this cheap.
So, she stalled and looked for a mortgage, then after a couple weeks she
told me she couldn't get a mortgage, so she would sell it. A couple
weeks later the realtor called me, because he could not get a hold of
her. I called her and she said, the more she thought about it, she knew
there was nothing to rent cheaper than owning the house. Now she is
getting her finances in order, so she can get a mortgage.
....

No idea where this house is located, of course, but depending on those
local conditions the idea of downsizing may be a good one. That all
depends on those local factors that only can know by being familiar w/
the area.

OTOH, if she would put her house in order financially and step up to the
plate, that would be _a_good_thing_ (tm) and a major step forward.

Whether she feels any moral obligation to make good on the fairness
doctrine on split of assets is yet another question that will have much
to do with her behavior going forward as well, undoubtedly.

Another way to look at value in situations like this is to estimate what
the care given was worth in terms of cost-avoidance of outside hired
help and/or alternate living costs if mother couldn't have stayed at
home otherwise. It may be that part of the issue w/ the money is that
there's not a feeling that that effort is appreciated or accounted for
otherwise. That again, of course, is from afar w/o knowing anything
more of the situation. Something similar occurred here, though, so
"been there, done that" on the caregiving side as have many...

Just some other things to muddle the mix...

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