On Mon, 17 Feb 2014 16:37:35 -0500, Tekkie®
wrote:

I used to play along the train tracks and remember very vividly almost being struck by a train. Maybe
that "helps" explain my mental condition?

A person I know is still a LEO. He once worked as a Rail Road Police
Officer (state). I've seen a number of his videos about the death of
people. Some were suicides (head on the track), others were homeless
or doing the wrong thing near the track (knocked 80 feet from the
tracks). One guy was asleep in an open empty freight car when tons of
rebar steel was dropped on him. The smell was terrible, he said, and
the guy was flat as could be, after arrival in Las Vegas.