Robert:

I'm thinking that your best bet might be to simply replace your 4 way switches with ones that have either lighted toggles or toggles of a different colour than the rest of the switches in each "bank" of switches. That will at least set them apart visually, so you're brain recognizes that those switches are different, and the toggle being in the up position doesn't mean that anything is "ON".

I'm not familiar with 4 way switches, but with 3 way switches there really is no "OFF" position like you have with ordinary switches. With 3 way switches, you have two different "ON" positions where the switch sends power down one conductor or another depending on the toggle position, but no "OFF" position. But, in that case, toggle down doesn't mean the light is off since whether or not electricity flows depends on the position of BOTH three way switches, not just the position of one three way switch.