"Mentalguy2k8" wrote in message
...
Decided to powerwash Mum's garden (the structural bits) after strimming
it, hedgecutting etc. She's already got a hosepipe & all the fittings.
Went to sweep cuttings off path & driveway, broom handle snaps on 2nd
stroke. Did the whole lot on hands & knees holding the bristly bit.
Finished, went for a fag and a cuppa, came back and Mum has raked all of
the grass cuttings along the whole length of the path. She has dementia so
I made allowances & didn't hit her very hard. She's also lost the
secateurs I bought her approximately 3 hours ago, I'll check in the fridge
later.

OK, off to B&Q to buy a new broom and a powerwasher (which I needed
anyway). Excellent. Nope, the tap adapter she assured me she had stored
safely, wasn't there. No probs, buy a new one at B&Q. No, the
"multi-fits-all" tap adaptor I bought doesn't fit the kitchen tap. OK, B&Q
is still open, shoot down there & buy a new tap adapter. Great! Connect it
to hose and tap, and her hosepipe has more leaks than a Tory cabinet.
Sigh, OK back to B&Q and buy new hosepipe and reel. Excellent! Nope,
powerwasher has bits missing from the box. Hello B&Q, can you replace this
please before you close? Thanks *ever* so much and yes I'm back again ha
ha ha ha, yes I *should* move in shouldn't I?. Up half the night putting
everything together, testing, all OK.. whoopee! 150 quid later and we're
ready to go. Sorry mother for waking you, yes I'm sure you thought someone
had broken in through the cat flap and was power washing your furniture
for you, I'll be back in the morning.

Get the hose in place this morning, the pressure washer ready, extension
cable all OK, no leaks, let's go! It's ****ing down.

You could always do the decent thing and just hang yourself thoughtfully |-(