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Greg Guarino[_2_]

On 10/16/2012 9:55 PM, wrote:
Someone was talking at work today about haunted houses and how the first thing her kids encountered was nearby sound of a chainsaw being started up.

That made me wonder if you couldn't put together a whole Haunted House based on woodworking powertools..or handtools for that matter. I can sort of imagine a bunch of woodworkers, with their safety glasses and ear protection, decked out in flannel and wielding a whole assortment of dangerous tools--routers, hand planers, all varieties of saws--in their blood-spattered shop aprons.

Someone ought to do this. It's probably too much to ask to have some tool company sponsor it. The last room of the could be a serious lecture about how useful power tools for woodworking when they are used correctly.

Ok, that last part is purely gratuitous.

My wife and I are reluctant and casual gardeners, to put the very best
face on it. Our rear yard had reverted to nature over a busy summer (and
spring). On Saturday I rented a Husqvarna gas-powered trimmer with a
blade that looked almost exactly like a Ninja throwing star. It was ten
inches in diameter, made of 1/4" steel, and had three sharpened points.

The trimmer was heavy and thus came with a harness that I had to wear to
support it. The back of the harness had a bright yellow plastic sign
warning people to keep back 50 feet. It had two handles spaced 2 feet
apart on a crossbar that looked like bicycle handlebars, these to allow
you to sweep the carnage from side to side.

This was one exceptionally vicious looking tool, and made short work of
the extreme overgrowth. A yard cleaned up for us, a one-hour ecological
apocalypse for whatever was living in there.

This tool would have to be a featured attraction in your Haunted House.
Did I mention that it also takes a circular saw blade?