Not that I disagree with your description, George, but such language!
May I offer some alternatives to consider?
From the Bard himself...


He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
The Comedy of Errors (4.2.22-5)

Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
The Comedy of Errors (4.4.24)

Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all!
The Comedy of Errors (4.4.100)

You abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone.
Coriolanus (2.1.36)

They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces .
Coriolanus (2.1.59)

You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave.
All's Well that Ends Well (2.3.262)

I do desire we may be better strangers.
As You Like It (3.2.248)

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.
Coriolanus (5.4.18)

There is no more mercy in him than there is milk in a male tiger.
Coriolanus (5.4.30)

Away! Thou'rt poison to my blood.
Cymbeline (1.1.128)

O thou vile one!
Cymbeline (1.1.142)

You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.
Cymbeline (1.2.26)

They have a plentiful lack of wit.
Hamlet (2.2.198)

Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane,
Drink off this potion!
Hamlet (5.2.335-6)

Thou hast the most unsavoury similes.
1 Henry IV (1.2.75)

This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this
huge hill of flesh!
1 Henry IV (2.4.225-6)

'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you
bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee!
you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck!
1 Henry IV (2.4.227-9)

There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.
1 Henry IV (3.3.40)

Hang him, swaggering rascal!
2 Henry IV (2.4.66)

I scorn you, scurvy companion.
2 Henry IV (2.4.115)

Away, you mouldy rogue, away!
2 Henry IV (2.4.117)

Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! By this wine, I'll
thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with
me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you!
2 Henry IV (2.4.120-22)

O braggart vile and damned furious wight!
Henry V (2.1.100)

Avaunt, you cullions!
Henry V (3.2.20)

Such antics do not amount to a man.
Henry V (3.2.28)

He is white-livered and red-faced.
Henry V (3.2.30)

They are hare-brain'd slaves.
1 Henry VI (1.2.38)

I had rather chop this hand off at a blow,
And with the other fling it at thy face.
3 Henry VI (5.1.51-2)

Thou mis-shapen dick!
3 Henry VI (5.5.35)