On Tue, 28 Feb 2012 20:51:30 -0600, Don Foreman
wrote:

I'm still alive but I very seldom read RCM any more. I think that the
most prolific posters do little or no metalworking. It's mostly
political slogan-slinging and Gunner-bashing.

I'm busy grieving. for my treasured. soulmate Mary that died
unexpectedly last March. It's hard work. Many fellow travelers who
have lost beloved spouses say that the second year is worse than the
first. That doesn't seem possible, but I guess I'll soon see.

In olden days, people would grieve for a year and then get on with
their lives. I wholeheartedly recommend the same to you, my friend.


I have almost no motivation to do anything useful or even necessary.
I'm hoping that longer days may revitalize me, though this has been a
"non-winter" in Minnesota.

So find somewhere to volunteer and put some time in doing something
helping others. Or start a mentor/apprentice program so you can do
the exact things -you- want to do, Don. Pass on your skills.


I have wonderful support from family (2 sons) in town. Daughter Karen
came from Denver to visit for my birthday. As usual, she had a
project in mind: she made a fire ring with cutouts using my plasma
cutter. Neat!

Smart woman. She probably got it from her parents.


I had three lady friends that I enjoyed a lot, no romance but good
friendships. One of them recently got ****ed at me for reasons I
still don't understand and is "taking a break" which I think might be
permanent. I miss her, am grieving a little for that loss. There's
still another, A, that is steady as rock, I continue to be amazed
with her. She is a widow, lost her hub three weeks before I lost my
Mary. She's grieving hard also but she is a remarkably strong woman.
That'll never be a romance either but it is a hell of a good
friendship, perhaps the best thing I have going in my life -- and it's
obviously good for her too.

And, she is a beautiful woman, a head-turner.

Don't be so damned sure, sir. She's probably ****ed at you because
you haven't made a pass at her. (hint dropped)


I've been taking square dancing lessons. Matter of fact, yesterday
was the last lesson, "graduation" will be next Monday night. I don't
feel ready for "graduation" but my "angel" partners (experienced
dancers) tell me I'm doing great. There are 68 calls in mainstream
square dancing and there's no time to think when the calls are made.
Some of the calls require fairly complex sequences of maneuvers or
steps. One (that I've mastered) is 32 steps in cadence with the
music.

Good, have fun! Any other engineers, or even (gasp!) blue collar
workers, in the group you can relate to in a purely electrical or
mechanical or machining way?


It's a strugggle to get out of bed most days, and some days I don't
bother. Today was one of them. That isn't unusual. My friend A has
a day job but she called in sick yesterday, which was the day after
the anniversary of her late hub's death. She weathered the
anniversary day OK with family but then melted down. She says I'm
the only person she can really talk to about her profound grief. My
family is more understanding than hers, but it's certainly true that
nobody who isn't a fellow traveler (one who has lost a beloved spouse)
can even begin to comprehend.

There is no "getting over" this kind of grief.

YES THERE IS, Don. Do it for Mary if not for yourself. She wouldn't
want you wasting away, pining over her for the rest of your life.


It isn't like losing
parents or even a child, because it is a permanent and irrevocable
life-change at a time in life where change is difficult. (I'm 70) My
friend A lost a previous hub and, while the 10 years she had with her
latest hub were by far the best 10 years of her life, she still talks
about the previous guy now and then. A is a decade younger than I but
I strongly doubt that she'll ever remarry. I also strongly doubt that
she'll ever discard me as a valued and special friend.

So work on her. wink

xox

We love you, Don. /tough love

--
....in order that a man may be happy, it is
necessary that he should not only be capable
of his work, but a good judge of his work.
-- John Ruskin