J G Miller wrote:
On Sat, 02 Jul 2011 11:52:09 +0100, Albert Ross wrote:

About as useful as a Dalek on stairs

Talking of which, I am surprised nobody has mentioned the what
are surely useless, especially for stairs, robot vacuum cleaners,
now being sold in supermarkets, eg Samsung Navibot.

http://www.robotshop.COM/eu

The site includes not only robot vacuum cleaners but items even
William Wright Esquire would appreciate -- a self cleaning
cat litter box -- for all his cats


We have no cats. It was natural wastage that did it. No cats were
dismissed, made redundant, redeployed, or transferred to other branches.
No cats were remanded in custody, although if there were prisons for
cats I think all of ours would have all spent time inside. No cats were
driven up to the moors and slung out of the car door, although
sometimes, well . . . lets just say I did get a bit exasperated once or
twice.

Quite simply, for the last 12 years I have had a rigid policy of taking
on no new cats. There have been plenty of applicants though. They have
appeared almost daily at our door. Experienced middle aged cats claiming
skilled rodent operative status. Elderly genteel cats in reduced
circumstances, desirous only of a quiet home in which to spend their
declining years and assuredly and most definitely not incontinent, not
even slightly. Even baby cats, irresistible to all except me, orphaned
and in dire straights, mewing piteously, have been unceremoniously
rejected and sent on their way. €œOh Dad, its snowing!€� €œThats not my
fault. Anyway, theyve got fur.€�

Not long ago the last cat made her exit. Shed hung on and hung on,
finally becoming quite helpless, and when we took her on that horrid one
way trip the vet took one look and unquestioningly reached for her
lethal needle. This cat had done well for 17 years, but the time had come.

Cats:

Blacky (rather fierce), Ginger (pretended to be fierce, but he was a big
sissy really), Spook (a seemingly respectable old lady with a shadowy
past), Susy (the cleverest of cats), Charlie (her brother, the dimmest
of cats), Dandy (short lived), and Tiger (Carolyn's first love).

Cat highlights:

When Susy went silently upstairs, then suddenly urine came out of one of
the living room lights.
When Blackie reached out to steal my forkful of food, but misjudged it.
His paw went into my mouth and I had a severely lacerated tongue and
lower lip.
When I was testing some big speakers and Spook jumped vertically up off
the beanbag and had diarrhoea in mid air.
When Ginger would jump on the windowsill and lean on the door handle to
let the other cats in or out.
When Hil ran Charlie over. He used to go to sleep in cardboard boxes in
the road. The wheel of the Volvo went right over him. He was flat. I
picked him up and he cried. I put him down on the ground and he sort of
swelled back into shape like in the cartoons and walked off. The vet
couldn't find any damage (still charged plenty though).
When I was ill and immobile for two months. Every day Charlie came
upstairs and settled next to me, sometimes licking my face and purring.
When I had to tell Carolyn (12) that her beloved Tiger was dead. The
worst thing I've ever had to do (amazingly).
When we walked up the field and a cat would follow, only to stop at the
edge of her territory and meow at us, as if to say €œYoure going over
the edge of the world!€�
When Spook gave birth in a cardboard box in the field, and Louise (10)
thought the little tails hanging out of the bottom belonged to rats.
When Spook would run across the yard in her inimitable way, her back end
not quite behind her front end, like a 'cut and shut' car, nervously
dodging from cover to cover like a guerrilla fighter.
When I was up a tree and I chopped off a really big branch and then saw
Charlie sitting directly below, looking up with gormless interest. He
lived, by some miracle.
But now we have no cats. We can leave food on the table unguarded. We
dont need to do a headcount when we hear brakes screech outside. We
dont have to deal with occasional nasty smells in inaccessible corners.
All of these are good things. But somehow, it doesnt seem right. The
house seems very empty.

I think Ill get a dog.

Bill