On 6/7/2010 9:34 AM, HeyBub wrote:
Lobby Dosser wrote:

Friend wearing flip flops jumped from the top bunk onto an Alabama
cockroach on the floor. Lifted his foot and the cockroach wandered
off. We didn't dare leave smokes or beer on the floor while playing
cards, as the cockroaches would steal them. Nothing worse than drunk
cockroaches waking you up for a light in the middle of the night.
They were getting so big, some of them were stealing uniforms and
trying to get served at the NCO Club.


Ah, yes. I had a similar problem in Austin when attending the University of
Texas. It was especially bad regarding goodies from home. But I devised a
plan: A ROACH-MOAT!



Oh, the device was simple enough, a #2 washtub with a pedestal in the
center, onto which was placed the delectables and the tub filled with water.
I went to bed that night, secure in the knowledge that my victuals from mom
would be safe.



I can only imagine the scene during the dark: thousands of roach-eyes, from
around the rim, longingly staring at the tantalizing tasty tarts just out of
reach! Then one roach, perhaps imbued with a sense of self-sacrifice, stands
up on his back four legs and screams "One for All!" in roach talk as he
throws himself into the deep. Others follow. Soon there is a ROACH BRIDGE to
the yummies I had thought were protected from pillaging pests.

You know, your approach is fundamentally flawed. Damnyankee roaches
might have been stopped by your moat, but Southern roaches fly.

I stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, yearning for a taste of swell,
sweetly remembered, and was greeted by a bug bacchanalia as thousands of
amber invaders bloated with brownies met me with roach-grins.



In a fit of unreasonable distress, I fled from the apartment to the nearest
store and bought a gallon of "Granny Gruesome's Roach Petrifier." I sprayed
everything. Including the cat.



The roaches retired to their lairs and retaliated by roach-breeding like,
well, like college students. Then came the sad part.



We had to apply to our arch-enemies, Texas A&M, for assistance. They gladly
used a small nuclear device on the afflicted apartment area and (no doubt
due to a small miscalculation) about six square miles of South Austin.



The area remains uninhabitable to normal folk to this day. It is rumored
that glow-in-the-dark, swimming, roaches roam the alley-ways.

Just doesn't sound Texan to me. A roach problem like yours is a perfect
opportunity to load up the .22 with shotshells and practice some
wing-shooting.