In article , drew wrote:
Doug Miller wrote:

SWMBO bought a hamburger press at Harbor Freight last weekend. So I'm getting
ready to use it... unpack it... to find "Assembly and Operating Instructions".

(WTF?? It's a hamburger press, for Pete's sake!)

The following is directly quoted from that document:

Safety Warnings and Precautions

[snip]

Wow! I've got a newfound respect for the lowly hamburger press... I
think I'm gonna stock up. Might be good to have a few around for when
the 2nd Amendment gets repealed, or when the entitlement riots break
out. Sounds like you could put up a pretty good fight with one of
these things...

My teenage son particularly enjoyed the part about not forcing the Hamburger
Press to "do the job of a larger, industrial Hamburger Press" and wondered
where we can buy one. Given the way a healthy, active teenage boy eats, I'm
wondering if I need to go searching ...