On Apr 2, 3:16*am, "
wrote:
Oprah: *Thanks for joining us today audience. *Our guest today is
Doughboy. *Hello, Doughboy. *How are you?

DB: *Well, not good Oprah. *I like to participate on a certain
internet venue and recently I felt like I was disrespected by a mean
man. *He reminded me of my first husband, he was awful.

Oprah: *What did he do, Doughy? *Did he single you out for some
reason?

DB: *No...

Oprah: *Did he make reference to something you said to make you think
he was talking about you specifically?

DB: *Well, no... but I am pretty sure he was!

Oprah: *You don't think you are being a bit touchy here, do you?

DB: *Well, it is about that time, but still, I think he was actually
thinking of me when he wrote a mean post. *I didn't like it one bit.
(Starts to tear up... Oprah mugs for the camera and hand DB a tissue)

Oprah: *I need to understand this. *He didn't call you out by name,
didn't reference anything in particular that you said, but you think
he may be talking to you? *Hmmmm.... why?

DB: *I feel like the victim here. *Oprah,

I will admit to being politically aware, active, and to being an
OT poster - but I always mark as OT

Oprah: * Hmmmm.... OK.....

DB: So I finished reading his whole post (it took three tries because
of the pain it caused me) and I told that meanie

and if that ain't enough for you,
screw ya.

Oprah: *Good! *Good! *You shouldn't be the victim here, even if you
were the one that made yourself one! *That's a great response, too.
Very intelligent. *We need more like you to stand up and say "we
aren't going to be victims anymore, even if we weren't in the first
place!"

Sometimes you have to take an issue, make it your own and personalize
it order to feel like a victim. *It is more difficult when dealing
with global statements, but it can be done.

This is a VERY important step if you are trying to feel bad about
something that was said to a large audience that didn't mention you by
name or anything you said.

Since you made it your issue you can respond personally to an
individual (even if it wasn't aimed specifically at you) to an issue
in a self righteous manner without feeling like an idiot.

You know Dough, sometimes I want to tell people to go **** themselves,
but I might lose a sponsor.

DB: *I wish I was a strong and smart as you Oprah.

Oprah: *Not many are, honey. *I just have a quick question to clarify
this for me. *Are you sure you were the intended target of his gibes?

DB: *I can't really be sure since he never referenced me personally.
Nor anything I have ever said. *But a lot of what he said fit me so
well, who else could he be talking about? *It has to be me! *That's
why I said that mean thing back, I wasn't sure it was, not positively
anyway, but I had to do something in case it was.

Oprah: *Well Doughy, if the shoe fits, I dunno... I guess you might
think ummm... *errrr....

DB: *(Now in tears) *You don't understand Oprah. *All I want to do is
to say what I want about whatever I want when I want. *I know that
internet venue has a theme, but I don't think I should have to pay
attention to it....
I don't care what anyone else thinks.

If they get upset by what I say, then they should do a bad thing to
themselves too!

Oprah: *And if someone posts something YOU don't like, even if it
wasn't pointed specifically at you?

DB: *I can't stand it!! *Well, as I told you, I told this mister to go
**** himself. *Not really I guess, I get shy on the internet and
didn't want to post the "F" bomb. *But "screw yourself" really is the
weasel way of saying "**** yourself". *It just sounds nicer. *You know
it kinda makes me sound like I have class.

Oprah: *I don't know Dough. *It sounds like you should go home, light
some candles, have a nice, long a bubble bath. *It always helps me.
That, and a little Barry Manilow.

DB: *Thanks, Oprah. *You are probably right.

Oprah smiles. *Another one saved.

Oprah: *We'll be right back after a word from Vagisil for men. *If you
have sand in your mangina, there's nothing finer than Vagisil.

Fade to commercial....

*applause!!!*