We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "Cash"
saying something like:

But saying all that Aldi will simply tell the OP to ring the number on the
guarantee and arrange a repair - which the OP is perfectly entitled to say
f**k off to, and tell them to sort it out (and the store manager will
generally argue like hell at this) as the OP's contract is with Aldi and not
the manufacturer.

And that's why I will not buy any thing that costs more than around £20 from
them.

Aldi and Lidl just usually give a straight refund on items that break
within a few months. No hassle.
Others' experiences may differ, but it's been the case for me.