Jim Thompson wrote:
From a Girl Scout Leader in my neighborhood...

"If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one. If a liberal
doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat. If a liberal
is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat
his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still
look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a
liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as
independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as
victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A
liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping
for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that
the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and
is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans
like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have
a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's 'offended'."

...Jim Thompson

And you can add to that.

If a conservative loses the presidential election, he'll whinge about it
forever on Usenet and make myriad cross posted inflammatory off topic
posts in technical groups about why liberals have to be exterminated. A
liberal accepts the results of a democratic election - albeit
reluctantly in the case of Florida vote rigging by the Bush dynasty.

Regards,
Martin Brown