"jo4hn" wrote in message
...
Victor De Long wrote:
Okay, I can't think of a newsgroup crowd that's more likely than this one
to be able to answer this - I got varmints. Not sure if they're moles or
gophers but they're making a mess of the yard in our new place - 1 acre
out in the country, surrounded by 40 acres of orchard. Anybody have any
tried and true suggestions for killing these little *******s? I've tried
the sonic vibrators in the ground. I've tried flooding them out (water
ran for an hour and didn't come out anywhere so they must have a fricking
metropolis down there. I've tried multiple times the Giant Destroyer gas
bombs where you dig down to their hole, light it, stick it in and then
cover it with dirt. They just keep coming back and I'm afraid I'm gonna
end up like Bill Murray in Caddyshack. I figure all I really have to do
is make my property less welcoming than the orchard around us and they'll
go out there but so far nothing's working. Any suggestions?

Note - a former classmate suggested to me that the most humane way is to
spread dog hair around their holes. To be clear, I'm not looking for
humane ways of putting them in halfway houses and helping them get jobs.
I want to kill them. I want to kill their families. I want to kill
people they met once on the bus. I want to hit them so hard that their
distant relatives back east feel it. I want them gone. sob I just
want my beautiful lawn back!!
Don't know how well it works but it should be fun. See
http://www.rodenator.com/.
booyah,
jo4hn the woodenator

WOW! That looks like fun! I'm gonna buy one even though I don't have pest
problems.

B.