On Jun 1, 6:38*pm, "L. Guteireze" wrote:
Greetings

I'm retired from the construction industry, but not yet retired.

We live in a neighborhood, where people help their neighbors, we have
neighborhood cookouts & such. Though retired from construction, people
still ask me to repair this or that, some drywall work, odd job etc. I
always attempt to help people out, and if I find it's going to be a project
which will take time, I refer them to a contact. When I do work, its for a
modest charge, because I no longer hold a license, or carry insurance.

A younger couple moved into the neighborhood. They wanted a deck & patio
door replaced. After asking around, a few neighbors pointed them my way.
Being up front, I told them I would _help_, but wouldn't give them a price
on anything.

They came up with a 14'x16' deck design, I drew it up, so they could get a
permit. I set up batter boards and strung it out for the post holes (6 of
them). The deck was going over part of a concrete patio, so I had him rent
a concrete saw to remove where 4 holes were going to be placed. I cut out 4
areas 12"x12" for these holes. My first sign this guy was cheap, was when
he started bitching about how much the saw cost along with the blade. I
helped the fella run the auger, called to have the holes inspected, poured
the concrete, set the beams & all floor joists. He wanted to install the
flooring himself, and I showed him how to do some railing, because he
wanted a built in gate within the railing. When it came time for the steps,
I figured them out & cut them for him. After the deck was completed, his
wife started complaining the deck was too _small_. It was their design,
with them saying how big they wanted it.

For the patio door, I still have aluminum coil stock, and an aluminum brake
to bend for flashing under the new door, and on top for a _z_ flashing. I
set the french doors, which he & his dad were the helpers.

So he says he will have a cook out when it's all done. I never discussed
getting paid, and I really don't want a dime for it. He said he will have a
cook out when everything was done. Well, he did, several of them, and
didn't invite myself or my family to join. He didn't invite anyone in the
neighborhood, just some drunken _friends_ from his old neighborhood. This
was last year when the work was completed. I just wonder where these
friends were, when the work was being done.

Fast forward to this year. He wanted to borrow my sawzall, I told him I
don't loan tools.

Now my lawnmower recently died. This guy bought a new Scag zero turn this
year. He seen my brother bring over his mower for me to use. The guy walked
over, said I should have asked him, for he would cut my yard for a mere $30
a pop. I was totally stunned, he would even suggest he would charge me. The
fella doesn't cut grass for a living, this is his toy, and I know it was
expensive, but geez. Not only that, several people in the neighborhood have
different companies cut their yards for $20, and all these lots are similar
in size.

Am I getting a taste of the "me" generation?

I know, I should just get over it.

Any adult relationship should be a reciprocal relationship - you help
me, and I help you. It doesn't have to be a 50/50 thing, or keep
track of hours, but there should be a give and take. If it's an old
lady, and she's on her own, of course I would do it for free, but I
would still let her make me a sandwich or bake a cake or whatever she
wanted so she would feel that she was giving something in return.
Standup people don't feel good about themselves when they take and
can't give back.

Charity should be reserved for those in need. Indulging someone who
can do the work for themselves or has the money to pay others to do it
for them will never make you feel good at the end of the day, and you
will have experiences like the one you wrote about. It is probably
how your poor schmuck neighbor was raised - he didn't have to do his
chores, and things were handed to him.

I can understand your frustration, but what did you really expect?
Next time you have such an urge to give charity to those that don't
need it, charge the people and when things turn out okay, donate the
money to charity or _you_ hold the kickass neighborhood block party.
It will be a surprise (everyone likes those), and everyone will feel
better about themselves and each other.

R