On Nov 12, 2:52*pm, "Upscale" wrote:
"Swingman" wrote in message
looked in the kitchen, and sure enough ... a pair of kitchen shears that
even I haven't been able to ruin after six or seven years.

I've got some Henckels kitchen shears too that came with the knife set I
bought 15 years ago. Never realized how useful those shears were until I
actually had them. From removing bottle caps, opening jar lids, cutting
frozen meat and opening every manner or hard plastic wrapped product, they
still work as well as the first day I tried them. Very few things these days
that you can say that about.

I was reading some stats recently on basic Emergency room problems.
(Angela drags that stuff home sometimes.) The biggies, in terms of
frequency, are cuts from people trying to
a) separate frozen burger patties. Those injuries can be very serious
sometimes.
b) people hurting themselves trying to open those plastic anti-theft
blister packs.
c) children smacking their heads on coffee table edges.

Those were some of them, not in order.

One big nasty item is people cutting water melons.

I have added:

people smacking their heads against walls whilst trying to open CD's.
People getting hurt because they laugh at Highway Patrol's new hats.
People getting hurt because they play Celine Dion on their stereos
with one mile of my house.

I'm sure the creative bunch that hangs here can add some funny ones.