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HeyBub[_3_]

wrote:

just DONT see you old buddy jack getting on plane and yell HI JACK to
get his attention, or you will on the news that nite

If you can get away from the TSA and deal with the police, you'll be okay.

My squeeze was taking a flight from Houston to New Orleans to attend a trade
show. As you can imagine, lots of scurrying about with last minute details.

Anway, as she was going through the X-Ray security, the machine went "TILT"
over the pistol in her purse!

Immediately she was taken to a room in the basement, one bright overhead
light, drain hole in the middle of the floor, strange terminals and
protuberances on the walls.

Cops come in. "Tell us about the gun," they say.

"You'll find a concealed handgun license in my purse," she replies. They do.

"Go forth and sin no more," the cops say.

They wouldn't let her take her gun on the plane; her son had to go to the
airport and retrieve it from the constabulary.

But everybody on the TSA shift got a Gold Star beside their name that day.

---
I was pulled out of line while waiting to board for "Additional Random
Screening." The TSA droids had picked four of us at random: Me, a senior
white male, a senior black male, a young oriental woman, and a young
Hispanic fellow. While one agent was rummaging through the lady's computer,
I said (soto voice) to the Hispanic guy: "You look more like a terrorist
than the rest of us. Use caution!"

This incited the dander of one TSA lady. She nearly jumped me with the
retort: "There's no such thing as what a terrorist looks like!" To which I
calmly replied: "There certainly is. They are Middle Eastern males, with
beards, and named Achmed. Did you get your TSA training from a
correspondence school?"

It went downhill from there. Of course the TSA twits are at a disadvantage
when dealing with me. Neither of us have both oars in the water, true, but
I'm using a paddle.