Vortex wrote:

I want to settle an argument about the weights (relative and absolute) of
our 2 cats. problem is, how do you accurately weigh a cat in a domestic
situation?

A highly topical query in my household as I attempted to weigh ours last
week. Here's not what to do:

1. Stroke cat for prolonged period and attempt to hypnotise into into
false sense of security.

2. Place thoroughly relaxed cat on kitchen scales, weighing up to 5 kg,
and gently retain cat in position with right hand while scale stabilises.

3. As cat freaks out and leaps into the air, attempt to catch scales
with left hand as they fly horizontally across the kitchen

4. Curse loudly as cat's claws rip a groove in your skin from tip of
right index finger to halfway up the right forearms, and then again as
the expensive scales strike the floor with a resounding thwack.

5. Curse again when you find that said scales now have a permanent
offset of 2 kg and a full scale deflection of 3.5 kg.

6. (one week later) Consult uk.d-i-y for alternative creative methods of
weighing said beast.

David