"Don" wrote in message
m...
Hey there, got an unusual question:

I live out in the country and part of my front yard is on a curve.
Constantly when it is wet outside, cars go too fast around it despite
signs being posted and end up sliding in my front yard. There is a
small ditch along the road that they go through and into my front
yard. Yesterday, someone even took out a bush I had planted at the end
of my driveway.

ANy bright ideas on what I could do? I thought about taking a tiller
and making the ditch deeper where it would be harder for cars to go
through. I even though of welding together some sort of guardrail to
but on my side of the ditch.

Any help woould be greatly appreciated!



Outside of the road department, you could:

1. Remove several feet of dirt from the ditch or edge of the yard and
fill with sand. (Put soft drink machine on porch for those waiting for
wrecker, $9 per soda. Install internet access kiosk, slot machines.)

2. Stack two layers of railroad ties on edge of property with dirt berm
on the house side.

3. Buy a wrecker, charge $75 -$125 to pull them out.

4. Make a deal with a local wrecker to be the only approved wrecker,
with a $75 - $125 up charge. Charge storage fee of $75 - $125 per hour
for use of unapproved wrecker.

Be sure to post a sign with the rules and a "Moving this sign
constitutes your agreement and acceptance of the policy and charges."

5. Fabricate a big scary looking high pressure gas main/valve assembly
out of wood and Sonotube with the requisite scary looking danger,
imminent death signs.

6. Put up Day Spa sign. charge $200 per hour to rub mud from ditch on
them.

7. Buy a gutted car of the same model as your local law enforcement,
paint to match and put a strobe in the light bar. Park this in your
yard, if folks don't slow down for that, the "police" car will stop them
from sliding into your yard. You should be OK parking your movie props
anywhere you want. For added protection put a for sale sign in the prop
cop car window.

IIRC, there was this little town with a highway dividing it in two. The
speed limit was too high for the townsfolk but the government entity
would not lower it. The residents along the highway got together and
built a bunch of brightly colored sculptures to place along the
roadside. Cars slow down to get a better look at the sculptures.

Get trashed machine tools, line them up at the property line with sale
signs, charge too much for the rusty stuff. Machine tools may not be
much of an attention getter, but a few 2000 lb chucks of iron will
impede the progress of any car. An old tractor may not be too much of
an eyesore for yard decoration/protection. If it gets hit enough you
may be able to restore it from the proceeds.

It's harder to stop them than charge them.

C