nightjar nightjar@ wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
. uk...
Hi All

I write a regular 'Handyman Hints' column for a local magazine. They want
the December one to have an Xmas theme.

I thought of doing a spoof article e.g. make sure the chimney is swept so
Santa can get down OK, leave parking space for sleigh etc.

Any ideas on this theme?

Have you asked the editor if that is what is wanted? If I were the editor I
would be hoping for something along the lines of how to fix a Christmas tree
securely, how to get the tree lights working, how safely to put up
decorations, etc.

Colin Bignell



I would say where to buy house insurance for when the candles set the
house on fire, how too get wax out of polished table tops, How to get
the ruddy tree lights working again and where to get spare bulbs, and
how to store all the decorations so they don't hang around for ages
afterwards.

Alternatively how to join up with like minded mates for a Christmas in
some isolated spot with a good hotel to avoid the rest of the family,
would be welcome.