The Medway Handyman wrote:
Hi All

I write a regular 'Handyman Hints' column for a local magazine. They
want the December one to have an Xmas theme.

I thought of doing a spoof article e.g. make sure the chimney is
swept so Santa can get down OK, leave parking space for sleigh etc.

Any ideas on this theme?

Won't he burn his arse on the stove?

--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite