The message
from "Christian McArdle" contains
these words:

You simply don't leave the house unless you either have a key, someone
inside to let you back in, or put it on the latch. If you can't manage
that,
you shouldn't be allowed a key. Indeed, you should be stuck in a mental
hospital bed and strapped down for gross stupidity.

D'yer know, I wish I was perfect in every way like you. But I reckon on
balance I'll just stay as a human.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.