On Mon, 28 Nov 2005 15:10:47 -0800, Eric R Snow
wrote:

I have been almost completely occupied with my Father-in-law's
impending death for the last six weeks or so. If someone has sent me a
message and not recieved a reply that's the reason why. All the things
left unsaid for years are now being said. Lots of painful things that
the family has let fester. And now maybe less sincere than if adressed
at the proper time. My wife is finding out how important some things
are to her. The support she requires from me needs to be
non-judgemental. Her father still needs to face up to some things. Not
because anybody else thinks so, but because these things are still
unsettled in his mind. I can see him struggling with his feelings. His
ego fighting what he knows is the right thing to do. Hurt feelings
abound from actions way in the past. And as if all that isn't enough,
the people responsible for managing his pain are doing a terrible job.
There is no excuse for depriving a dying person relief from pain. And
the fear of overuse and addiction by a patient who has less than two
months to live is ridiculous. As a consequence his pain level swings
radically, dragging his mood along. Nurses were sent to his home to
help manage his pain who didn't even know the exact nature of the
opiates administered. Nurses that argued that certain drugs he was
taking were completely different chemicals when they were in fact just
packaged different or named different because of the difference
between generic and brand names. When the information about these
drugs is available on the FDA's website it is a wonder that these
nurses can be so mis-informed. Fortunately the wrong information has
been corrected. And it appears that starting today the pain control is
finally being done correctly. Anyway, I just needed to blow off some
steam. I'm not looking for sympathy. Thanks for reading.
Eric

Caregivers have a litigious minefield to negotiate. You must make
things crystal clear for them. That done, I've been very impressed
with the level of empathy and genuine care that was provided to my
rellies. There were a couple of wiseass shirkers. They're no
longer employed as caregivers....