Eliot Coweye ate something that disagreed with him and hurled the
following:
Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth
again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect
pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.

I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.

But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
Second Ark ?

Please help.

Easy. Gopher wood, about 11,000,000 bf. Pitch - figure 75,000 gallons
for two coats, in and out. You can thin the first coat and 'wipe-on',
but the second coat should be brushed. You'll need 3 sons, preferably
the extra-husky variety. Hand tools are de rigeur, of course. You'll
also need 100 years to build this sucker. IF you should live so long
and actually finish the job, God said HE would bring the animals.
Don't forget several extra packs of playing cards as the elephants are
fond of sitting on the "deck".