Again, well said.
Curious: Whudja learn?
What I lernt: (the impatient can skip to the punchline, between the
ass-terisks)
That if you got 36 inches, an insatiable nymphomaniacal-level libido AND are
popping Viagra like Vitamin C, here's what you do:
Keep it in yer pants fer just a little while, hold off on the Viagra, and
round up a bunch of moneyed mutha****as who want to **** America/Americans
as badly as you do.
Brainstorm for a just little while (not too long, as I realize it's keepin
36" on a really strained leash), and come to the following insightful
conclusion:
(not, btw, as brilliant as the Howard Shultz insight, that you CAN sell
*middling* coffee at $5/cup to a general pubic *already* saturated in
coffee--all's you gotta do is re-brand it, and re-name it--call it
Lattayyyyy....)
You realize that Sheeeiiit, bruh,
Mom & Pop hardware stores are really just silly exercises in ordering
redundancy, and alls we really need is ONE buyer, one cocksucker on a
computer to order the same middling **** (like $tar$uck$ coffee) , ceptin
from China, and put it all (chaotically and mislabled, of course, just to
give the Fish-in-a-barrel sumpn to do) in 5,000 cookie-cutter prefabbed
airplane hangars, which barely have to meet municipal building codes, cuz,
well, they aren't even fukn *buildings*.
Now, take some of the money you might coulda been spending on service and on
repairing our Frayed Social Fabric, and instead spend it on artfully lying
ads/propaganda, and Voila!....... Yer Rich(er)!
And unleash a plague of moths....
Oh yeah, and while yer at it, co-conspire w/ HGTV and convince every
misguided American w/ a **** home that it is written somewhere in the Bible,
some hidden 11th Commandment, that
Thou shalt spend the rest of thine fukn life fixin up thine goddamm
home, even ifffin it's good enough the way it is....
And convince them that They Can Do It, and that HD Can Hep....
Not just keepin UP w/ the Joneses, mind you, but heading off those hapless
muhfugguhs *at the pass*, jack...
NOW,
You can unleash dat 36" bad boy, start poppin dat Viagra, and ****--with
total impunity and manic ferocity--America and every man, woman, child, and
octogenarian in America, repeatedly, and with, did I already say, impunity,
and...
You get to put your Mein Kampf-like Corporate Strategy *in fukn print*, so's
yer stockholders (another brilliant ****ing: You get to **** all of America
with OPM!!) can become equally erect and excited, if not as well endowed as
you, and without your infinite access to Viagra.
And, finally, the crux of What I done Lernt here, the real ass-kicking
denouement of this whole scenario:
******************************
You THEN have bevies, legions, ARMIES of reasonably (if not very well)
educated self-styled pundits, some of the very people you are ****ing,
DEFENDING yer right to do so!!!!!!!!
Most of them so inurred to the incessant PV of it all, they spout their
drivel whilst reflexively grabbing their ankles.
*******************************
AND......
You get Charlie Rose to stroke you and blow on PBS!
Spin DIS, mutha****as....
These bevies of tongue-clucking do-gooding pundits were the same cocksuckers
who would rat out escaping slaves in the good ol' days.... Why????????
Cuz it wad agin d'law!! Massa, MASSA, Loook, LOOOOO-KKK!!!!
Here, in this case:
WHAAAAAATTTTT??????????
You STOLE? from Home Dee-Poe?????????????????????????
MY GAWD, CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What could be better?
It's even better than being a politician, whose job *description* is to
**** the constituency (but to **** the opposing constituency even more--you
know, contrast'n'****), but who really, when you think about it, have to go
thru some **** (called re-election) for the right to **** you, yer mom, your
family, and your descendants for the rest of eternity.
Bob Nardelli just has to endure a few board meetings, all of which are
focused on ****ing you better, efficiently, and harder.
And on finding ways to exclude Lowe's.
Alpha-Store??
AND,
He gets further impunitized when Charlie Rose blows him pubicly on PBS.
Christ, that blow job was so goddamm good, so artful, so brilliantly
executed, when Charlie was done *I* reached for the Kleenex to see if
anything got on me! Holographic, dudes....
F'real, if you are interested in BRILLIANTLY executed bull****, you should
BUY this tape!
No foolin, when./if I reach that phase in my Own Folly, I am actually going
to order that tape, study it, memorize it, and RECITE it--as I did Hannibal
Lechter's soliloquies to Agent Starling.
SIT.... please.......
Jack Crawford.... sent a *trainee*..... to MEEEE?????????
sniff You wear Eau d'(sumpnorother).... But not todayyy......
I actually emailed PBS a fairly long response to that "interview", wondering
if Charlie had switched professions, from TV journalist to TV concubine...
no response, of course.
Aww ****, I'm outta threaded rod.... ****, it's Sunday.... all the local
hardware stores are closed.... wait.... all the local hardware stores are
GONE!!
Whew.... thank god there's a HD--and it's only 10 miles away!!!
Which right away, at, what is it now, 50c/mile to operate a fukn vehicle,
adds $10 to the cost of a $1 rod, plus the hour round trip, plus the
de-compression time I need to calm down afterwards.....
What a bargain..... Pardon me whilst I stretch a bit--I think I'll grab my
ankles....
----------------------------
Mr. P.V.'d
ormerly Droll Troll
"Grant Erwin" wrote in message
...
To me the best thing, the really exceptionally cool thing about this
thread is that it exists at all. Where else can highly trained people
exchange viewpoints in this manner? Before the advent of newsgroups and
the Internet in general, such discourse between individuals would have
been very unlikely, maybe limited to two or three people in some chance
encounter.
I have learned a lot reading this post, and I suspect others have too.
Grant Erwin
Kirkland, Washington