Prologue:


The dog says, "She feeds me, she must be a god."
The cat says, "She feeds me, I must be a god."


Pet Diary

First, the dog diary:

7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in a people bed! My favorite


NOW THE CAT DIARY

Day 583 of my captivity...

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
stairs.


In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on
their bed.


Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.


There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to
my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.


I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant since he speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in
the
metal room, his safety is assured.


But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...