":::Jerry::::" wrote:

Sorry, but having seen larger batteries off larger vehicles than a
7.5 t lorry explode, mostly due to internal faults, you story
(because that is what is, with a lot of 'padding' I suggest...)
doesn't quite fit what actually happens what a battery case explodes.

Actually there was a worldwide shortage of steel that year due to the
new invention of heavier than balsa aircraft and this fact, together
with savage education cutbacks, meant the karts were sold off the
first week of term so the school could afford chairs for the pupils to
sit on.

The battery that never exploded was still in the army truck that was
hundreds of miles away on a secret joint SAS Home Guard exercise on
Salisbury Plain. This battery carried on working for another 5 years
before it was melted down to form a new roof for the local church and
a selection of fishing weights for JR Hartley.

Just before they placed the non existent steel bar on the non existent
battery terminals the famous three who never existed were all abducted
by aliens who took the non existent battery back to planet zog to
temporarily power a new kind of combi boiler they were developing. The
aliens returned to earth and for a laugh and as a lasting reminder of
their visit sprayed electrolyte around the room and hammered bits of
battery casing into the wall.

The non existent workshop windows were damaged by the sonic blast of
the alien spacecraft leaving as they performed a triple salko round
the science block (now fully equipped with chairs) so the famous three
who never put a steel bar on the terminals of a battery in the first
place could be deposited round the back of the bike sheds where they
subsequently spent the next hour examining the literary aspects of an
old copy of Mayfair while having a crafty smoke.

Due to restrictions being placed on all British citizens that have
been abducted by aliens from emigrating to Canada the story never
emerged on a night fuelled by beer as all the beer in the non existent
pub had been used instead to fill the new explosive proof lead alcohol
batteries, one of which by total coincidence had just been removed
from a brand new unwanted Army truck, that, due to a sudden outbreak
of worldwide peace, had been donated to a local school. The school
immediately set up a kart club and modified the truck to transport
karts and pupils all over the country.

Toyota meanwhile, in what would subsequently be seen as an extremely
bad move, took over Budweiser but then realised their new lead "weak
as ****" alcohol fuelled Prius would only travel to the end of a four
house cul-de-sac before deliberately crashing into a lamp post and
announcing "attention battery flat fuel tank empty driver sober"
simultaneously in Japanese, Klingon and Serbo-Croat.

Get over it Jerry, It happened, the aftermath was witnessed by a few
dozen pupils, staff and parents.


--