I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

...................................

...................................

...................................

"Robatoy"
I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a skydiver but I was not ready to take the leap.

I was going to be a surgeon but didn't make the cut.

.......................

Dave



Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
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Teamcasa wrote:
"Robatoy"

I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.


I was going to be a skydiver but I was not ready to take the leap.

I was going to be a surgeon but didn't make the cut.


I wanted to be a mathematician but couldn't integrate.

OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

PK

On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:47:22 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:

OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"
--
"Keep your ass behind you"
vladimir a t mad {dot} scientist {dot} com

"Australopithecus scobis" wrote in message
news
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:47:22 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:

OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"
--
"Keep your ass behind you"
vladimir a t mad {dot} scientist {dot} com


While we're on that subject:

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child.
The first placed a large bear hide by the river, the second squaw placed
an elk hide by the tree by the river, and the third squaw placed a
hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree, so that the
three formed a triangle.

It just so happened that all three women gave birth on the same day.
The first squaw on the bear hide had a 5lb son, the second on the elk
hide had a 6lb son, and the third squaw on the hippopotamus hide had an
11lb son.

To this day, mathematicians credit these three women with the first proof
of Pythagorus's Theory :

The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the
squaws of the adjacent hides.

Paul Kierstead wrote:
Teamcasa wrote:

"Robatoy"

I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.


I was going to be a skydiver but I was not ready to take the leap.

I was going to be a surgeon but didn't make the cut.


I wanted to be a mathematician but couldn't integrate.

OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

PK

I wanted to be a comedian, but everyone just laughed at me.

--
Robert Allison
Rimshot, Inc.
Georgetown, TX

I was going to be a family planning counselor
but
it was inconcievable.

(original version
Birth control! said the Pope.
Inconcievable!

I was going to be a pornographer
but
my pornograph broke.

charlie b

Oh my freakin' god, that's terrible.

ROFLMAO

-Phil Crow

Tim and Steph wrote:

great yet terrible math joke snipped, use google!

The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the
squaws of the adjacent hides.

Oh man, I love it.

So, there was this big math party. All the important functions where
there; sin, cos, Pythagoras, everyone. e^x showed up to the party but
was observed staying alone in the corner quietly. Some of the equations
felt rather bad and went over to e^x and said to it: "Come on, have fun
and join the party! You will never have fun if you don't integrate!".
e^x replied: "Why bother, it doesn't make any difference".

ROFLMAO!!!

PK

Australopithecus scobis wrote:
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:47:22 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:


OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...


Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"

I think she has just finished too many mid-terms; she doesn't get it.
Ok, give!

PK

On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:17:58 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:

Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"

I think she has just finished too many mid-terms; she doesn't get it.
Ok, give!

An Abelian grape.
--
"Keep your ass behind you"
vladimir a t mad {dot} scientist {dot} com
MIT '79

On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:28:11 -0600, the inscrutable Australopithecus
scobis spake:

On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:17:58 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:

Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"

I think she has just finished too many mid-terms; she doesn't get it.
Ok, give!

An Abelian grape.

I don't get it. Give!


================================================== ======
Was that an African + http://www.diversify.com
or European Swallow? + Gourmet Web Applications
================================================== ======

In article , Larry Jaques
wrote:

An Abelian grape.

I don't get it. Give!

" A group or other algebraic object is said to be Abelian if the law of
commutativity always holds."

;-)

--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows

Dave Balderstone wrote:
In article , Larry Jaques
wrote:


An Abelian grape.

I don't get it. Give!


" A group or other algebraic object is said to be Abelian if the law of
commutativity always holds."

;-)

And while we're at it, don't forget that all involutory collineations
are harmonic homologies. Sheeeesh.
j4

On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:47:22 -0500, Paul Kierstead wrote:

Teamcasa wrote:
"Robatoy"

I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.


I was going to be a skydiver but I was not ready to take the leap.

I was going to be a surgeon but didn't make the cut.


I wanted to be a mathematician but couldn't integrate.

OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

PK

or about the constipated accountant that worked it out with a pencil?



mac

Please remove splinters before emailing

Paul Kierstead writes:


[...]


OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

The one about the e^x bragging to the differential operator that it
can't be harmed just to hear: "Pity. I'm d/dy..."?

--
Dr. Juergen Hannappel http://lisa2.physik.uni-bonn.de/~hannappe
Phone: +49 228 73 2447 FAX ... 7869
Physikalisches Institut der Uni Bonn Nussallee 12, D-53115 Bonn, Germany
CERN: Phone: +412276 76461 Fax: ..77930 Bat. 892-R-A13 CH-1211 Geneve 23

On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 14:25:35 -0500, Robatoy wrote:

I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

..................................

..................................

..................................
I wanted to be a teacher but didn't make the grade...

I was going to be a butcher but didn't make the cut..

I was going to be a mule skinner, but couldn't find my ass?




mac

Please remove splinters before emailing

On Wed, 23 Mar 2005 05:47:45 -0800, Larry Jaques wrote:

Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"

I think she has just finished too many mid-terms; she doesn't get it.
Ok, give!

An Abelian grape.

I don't get it. Give!

1. You're not a mathemetician, so it won't be funny. Trust me on this.

2. One of the properties of an Abelian group is that it is commutative.
(Addition is commutative; 4 + 3 = 3 + 4.) Groups are apparently very
interesting to maths types. I never took those courses, though.

3. What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander the grape. You get
the picture...

--
"Keep your ass behind you"
vladimir a t mad {dot} scientist {dot} com

On Wed, 23 Mar 2005 09:44:07 -0800, mac davis wrote:

or about the constipated accountant that worked it out with a pencil?

or the constipated engineer who worked it out with a slide rule?

--
"Keep your ass behind you"
vladimir a t mad {dot} scientist {dot} com

In article ,
Australopithecus scobis wrote:

3. What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander the grape. You get
the picture...

Purple in the ocean? Moby Grape.

--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows

In article .ca,
Dave Balderstone wrote:

In article ,
Australopithecus scobis wrote:

3. What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander the grape. You get
the picture...

Purple in the ocean? Moby Grape.

That's .. what's pink and floats in the ocean..

Moby's dick.


.... I don't write them...

In article . com,
wrote:

Oh my freakin' god, that's terrible.

ROFLMAO

-Phil Crow


Ever start a thread...and then wish you hadn't?....*G*

Robatoy wrote:

In article
.ca, Dave
Balderstone wrote:

In article ,
Australopithecus scobis wrote:

3. What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander
the grape. You get the picture...

Purple in the ocean? Moby Grape.

That's .. what's pink and floats in the ocean..

Moby's dick.

... I don't write them...

Worse and worse. What's green and can do mach 1 *backward*?

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html

Juergen Hannappel wrote:

The one about the e^x bragging to the differential operator that it
can't be harmed just to hear: "Pity. I'm d/dy..."?

One of my favorites. Something about e^x jokes just cracks me up. That
one usually also has a constant buddy is has just been zeroed...

PK

On Wed, 23 Mar 2005 18:49:03 +0100, Juergen Hannappel
wrote:

Paul Kierstead writes:


[...]


OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you
heard the joke about e^x at the party...

The one about the e^x bragging to the differential operator that it
can't be harmed just to hear: "Pity. I'm d/dy..."?

The only one I know, told to us by an econ prof

integral(1 / cabin dcabin) = ln(cabin) + c = houseboat


Yeah, it wasn't that funny 25 years ago either.


+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
The absence of accidents does not mean the presence of safety
Army General Richard Cody
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

In article ,
Morris Dovey wrote:

[snipperectomized]..

Worse and worse. What's green and can do mach 1 *backward*?

I do not know, Morris. Please tell us.




What is green and points to the North?


.... a magnetic pickle.


worse and worse and worse...

Robatoy wrote:

In article ,
Morris Dovey wrote:

Worse and worse. What's green and can do mach 1 *backward*?

I do not know, Morris. Please tell us.

Snot

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html

Robatoy wrote:
In article .ca,
Dave Balderstone wrote:


In article ,
Australopithecus scobis wrote:


3. What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander the grape. You get
the picture...

Purple in the ocean? Moby Grape.


That's .. what's pink and floats in the ocean..

Moby's dick.


... I don't write them...

Oh,

I always thought Moby Dick was a venerial disease, and that Peter Pan
was a wash basin in a brothel.

Glen

In article ,
mac davis wrote:
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 14:25:35 -0500, Robatoy wrote:

I was going to learn to use a router, but I didn't dare to take the
plunge.

I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't find my briefs.

I was going to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

..................................

..................................

..................................
I wanted to be a teacher but didn't make the grade...

I was going to be a butcher but didn't make the cut..

.... but backed into the meat grinder.
and got a little behind in my work.