Folks -

OK, apparently all is forgiven - I just got my PRE-APPROVED HCA MEMBERSHIP
MONOGRAPH in yesterday's mail. Y'know, I really DO hate to be a cynic about
all of this, but how the hell can you keep all of this PRIVILEGED
information and MEMBERS ONLY status when the packet is enclosed in an
oversize, BRIGHT orange florescent envelope? Keee-rist! Now the mail-man
knows - heck, he's probably already got a woody just from the POSSIBILITY
that a 14 in 1 Tool Gauge/Flashlight/Screwdriver/Web Browser/Hot Dog
Stop/HCA Discount Card/Ninja Throwing Star could show up AT ANY TIME.

I am pretty sure I saw my neighbor lurking around the recycle can last
night, looking to see if I "slipped up" with the seeeeecret membership
materials - Ha! what a piker.... Not a chance!

The guy down the block dropped by this morning, trying to be all
casual-like.... asking if I "happened" to have a drill bit gauge handy so
that he could sort through a cigar box of old drill bits. Naturally, I
dropped him before he finished his sentence. The Coroner is still out on
the porch dealing with the aftermath. He flashed the badge and started to
ask MORE questions, but I flashed my "you know what" membership card in
return and he fell mute.

This was SO worth the LIFETIME membership fee of $700. I'm already working
on making more room for all of those tools that are going to show up any day
now. I think that the guy who was the Currency Minister in Nigeria is going
to be delivering them, probably with a PM-66. WHOO-HOOOOOO.

This is WAY better than being part of the Illuminati!

John Moorhead