THE LOAN

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told
the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the
following reply (Actual letter):

Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and
presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared
title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final
approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to
its origin.


Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter): Your
letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that
you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the
present application.

I was unaware that any educated person in this country,
particularly those working in the property area, would not know that
Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of
origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed
FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was
obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery
made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had
been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish
monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost
as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the
blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus'
expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus
Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this
world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that
part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of
origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the
world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to
be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?

The loan was approved.

"Bob Schmall" wrote in message
...

THE LOAN

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told
the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the
following reply (Actual letter):

Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and
presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared
title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final
approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to
its origin.
SNIP

Nothing unusual about that. As a lawyer, he should have known that his
colleagues are likely to challenge anything that would result in them
collecting a fee, regardless of validity. I personally was obliged to pay
for title insurance when we bought and when we refinanced for a lower rate
on this property. The trail documented in the abstract was from (1837, when
the Chippewa ceded it) "government of the United States to ... " up to yours
truly, with no description like north by the elm, west by the willow, but
rather Township, Range, section and quarter. You had to have insurance,
period.

Also had to pay - twice - for a survey. To determine what, I'm not certain,
given the description. I showed the guy where the monument was, and he
left.


Now you want a neat story, I slipped while entering the well hole up at the
church one day while I was helping with some plumbing, and gored my hand
with the traditional rusty nail. Since I was in the service, I went to the
hospital on base for a tetanus shot.

I later received paperwork in the mail asking for full documentation of the
accident so that Uncle Sam could recover the cost of the treatment and shot.
I filled it out, never heard anything further. First question was "Owner of
Property," where I wrote "God."

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 09:36:17 -0600, "Bob Schmall"
wrote:


THE LOAN

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. ....


See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/landgrab.htm

This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I"
right-wing urban myths.

But it's still durn funny: :-))

GregP wrote:
On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 09:36:17 -0600, "Bob Schmall"
wrote:


THE LOAN

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. ....



See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/landgrab.htm

This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I"
right-wing urban myths.


--
Will
Occasional Techno-geek

"GregP" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 09:36:17 -0600, "Bob Schmall"
wrote:


THE LOAN

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. ....


See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/landgrab.htm

This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I"
right-wing urban myths.

Does that mean the left wing thinks the gubmint is smarter than they are?

todd

GregP wrote:

See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/landgrab.htm

This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I"
right-wing urban myths.

And if anyone needs any further proof of that, I'll dig up my mortgage
papers. It was all I could do to sign my name to that pile of gook without
taking a red pen to it to correct all the horrible grammatical and spelling
errors.

The lesson I took away from that was that banker types must have all gotten
crappy grades in English, and it doesn't stop them from driving Vipers.
Being literate is less valuable to one of those critters than being slicky.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 19:59:17 -0600, "Todd Fatheree"
wrote:


This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I"
right-wing urban myths.

Does that mean the left wing thinks the gubmint is smarter than they are?

todd


Does that mean that the only alternative to black is white
(or visa-versy, depending on your personal political
predilections :-) ?