Been around but it's been a slow day in the newsroom.

Enjoy

Lew

----------------------------------------------------------------
This is an actual letter sent to a man named
Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property.

It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of
Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.

This guy's response is hilarious, but read the
State's letter before you get to the response
letter, you won't stop once you start.

WOW Love this man.

This is an actual letter:

State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT:

DEQ ... File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20;
Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of
Environmental Quality that there has been recent
unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property.

You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris
dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type
of activity. A review of the Department's files shows
that no permits have been issued Therefore, the
Department has determined that this activity is in
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection
Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled
Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of
the dams partially failed during a recent rain event,
causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.

We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous
and cannot be permitted.

The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist
all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
the dams from the stream channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 2010.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been
completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be
scheduled by our staff.

Failure to comply with this request or any further
unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case
being referred for elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation
in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative and Water Management Division.
===============================================
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

DEQ File No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at
2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing
and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the
outlet stream of my Spring Pond.

While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam
project, I think they would be highly offended that you call
their skillful use of nature's building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt
to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place
you choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever
match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are
aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to
the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring
Pond Beavers, or
(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State
to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular
beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I
request completed copies of all those other applicable
beaver dam permits that have been issued.

(Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of
Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of
the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to
324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is,
aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?

The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
and are unable to pay for said representation --
so the State will have to provide them with a dam
lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or
both of the dams failed during a recent rain event,
causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural
occurrence, which the Department is required to
protect.

In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers
alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow
condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going
to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your
dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have
a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the
sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows
downstream.

They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy
Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case
can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now.

Why wait until 1/31/2010?

The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then
and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears!

Bears are actually defecating in our woods.

I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating
bears and leave the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your
dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and
being unable to contact you on your dam answering
machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

On Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:10:12 -0800, Lew Hodgett wrote:

Been around but it's been a slow day in the newsroom.

Enjoy

Lew

---------------------------------------------------------------- This is
an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on
his property.


According to Snopes, this one is actually true - except the state was
Michigan and the responder was one Stephen Tvedten.

--
When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and
carrying a cross.

Larry Blanchard wrote:
On Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:10:12 -0800, Lew Hodgett wrote:

Been around but it's been a slow day in the newsroom.

Enjoy

Lew

---------------------------------------------------------------- This is
an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on
his property.


According to Snopes, this one is actually true - except the state was
Michigan and the responder was one Stephen Tvedten.


It would not be a stretch of the imagination for something like this to
have happened, but the facts have been changed to enhance and make the
story seem funny..

"Lew Hodgett" wrote:
Been around but it's been a slow day in the newsroom.

Enjoy

Lew

----------------------------------------------------------------
This is an actual letter sent to a man named
Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property.



All restoration work shall be completed no later than


match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

This is an actual letter..

AND it came off of the Internet. IT MUST BE TRUE!

I am not buying either letter.

"Larry Blanchard" wrote:

According to Snopes, this one is actually true - except the state
was
Michigan and the responder was one Stephen Tvedten.
----------------------------------------------------
Whether it is true or not, it's still funny which is what the
Subject advertised.

Lew

"Lew Hodgett" wrote:
"Larry Blanchard" wrote:

According to Snopes, this one is actually true - except the state
was
Michigan and the responder was one Stephen Tvedten.
----------------------------------------------------
Whether it is true or not, it's still funny which is what the
Subject advertised.

Lew

Was it?