Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
afterlife.


Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent
shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
(BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members
and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir
told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in
the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like
this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently
resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize
with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day
Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in
the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell
3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales,
and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect
their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.

"ChairMan" wrote in message
m...
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
afterlife.

Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 = .5

"CW" wrote in message
...

"ChairMan" wrote in message
m...
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
the afterlife.

Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 = .5


You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rating

I give it a +10

On Nov 22, 5:00*pm, "George W Frost" wrote:
"CW" wrote in message

...



"ChairMan" wrote in message
om...
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
the afterlife.

Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 = .5

You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rating

I give it a +10

I thought it was hilarious.

ChairMan wrote:
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
afterlife.


Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
this February, from 72 to only 60.

These blatant math errors surely aren't funny!
Maybe if they recalculated there wouldn't be a strike at all!



The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent
shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
(BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members
and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir
told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in
the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like
this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently
resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize
with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day
Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in
the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell
3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales,
and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect
their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.

"ChairMan" wrote in message
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to
paradise.

Ok, that one made me laugh.

Can we say "towel" online still?


"George W Frost" wrote in message
ond.com...
You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rating

I give it a +10

"Josepi" wrote in message
...
Can we say "towel" online still?

Shaken, not wrapped ...



"George W Frost" wrote in message
ond.com...
You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that
rating

I give it a +10








--
If your name is No, I voted for you - more than once ...

On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?


No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
Atlanta ATC:
"Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "

Lew, I hope you've taken suitable precautions when it comes to avoiding all
those IED's planted around your place.

"Just Wondering" wrote in message
...
On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?


No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

That would give you the sheets woodn't it ??

On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?


No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??


Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet heads.

"Just Wondering" wrote in message
...
On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?


No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??


Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
heads.


Utter crap

I'll consider that a "wrap".


"George W Frost" wrote in message
nd.com...
Utter crap


"Just Wondering" wrote in message
...
Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
heads.

"ChairMan" wrote in message
m...
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
afterlife.


Ya know, as far as a labor pool goes, suicide bombers trend the same as
other groups. The biggest slackers have the most seniority.

On 11/23/2010 2:50 PM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?

No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??

Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
heads.

Utter crap

Uh, it's a joke. I also tell blond jokes even though my wife is a blond
and doesn't fit the stereotype, and laugh at lawyer jokes although I'm a
lawyer myself and know very few lawyers fit the stereotypes. So it's
your choice, you can either lighten up or go through life as a crab.

"Just Wondering" wrote in message
...
On 11/23/2010 2:50 PM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
"Just wrote in message
...
On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
Can we say "towel" online still?

No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.

That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??

Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
heads.

Utter crap

Uh, it's a joke. I also tell blond jokes even though my wife is a blond
and doesn't fit the stereotype, and laugh at lawyer jokes although I'm a
lawyer myself and know very few lawyers fit the stereotypes. So it's your
choice, you can either lighten up or go through life as a crab.

I guess that you have to learn to read between the lines on word play

towel =
gives you the sheets =
little sheet heads =
utter crap

just a play on words old son
Shirley you have heard such jokes before