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#1
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of
innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. A pastoral setting: Pukey Ducks, dripping Polyurinestain, graze on the green swards. Stacks of freshly planed pallet wood sit curing in the driveway, the sun winking merrily on the freshly cut nail heads. O'Deen chats up a dewaxed blonde, plotting to lower her resistance to flow with some of his 200 proof reserve. Duke of URL's guiltily ogles the newest silicone spray enhanced beauty in the Delta Tool Porn Centerfold but this only gives rise to thoughts of putting the wood to his faithful, ever-accommodating Unisaur. JOAT posts plans for pointy sticks and cheerfully answers his voluminous email. Davey Eisan sits next to a new fishing rod, reading Trollope until his lips get numb. Normites, Neanders, Galoots, Royds - all live in harmony. There were no Men In Doorways, no Joes Blowing, no Woodpeckers, nothing BAD at all. We needed only Species Level Filters in those days - any human being was welcomed to the Golden Wrecktangle. But - a foul darkness was growing in the land. The beginning of what was to become known as "The War of the Bennetts" was at hand. "The War of the Bennetts" is thought to be explicated and celebrated in "The Lost Chronicles of Deja". Let it suffice for now to say that confusion and disorder were everywhere. It was an age without wisdom, without charm, without respect, without… it was pretty bad. But there were great men, tall and broad, about in those days. Some say they were the progeny of the Nephilim but the truth is lost in the mists of time. What is known is that they formed that great mysterium tremens, The Cabal, and swore an oath to restore order, justice and respect. They mounted their Unisaurs and rode to glory. And - what did they hold high, what did they wield to smite their snarling foes? KlownHammers. As the Samurai has his sword, as the Minuteman has his long rifle, as the Jedi has his light saber, the Caballista has his KlownHammer. The original KlownHammers were forged and awarded during "The War of the Bennetts". Their makeup and measures are shrouded in secrecy. Their numbers are known but not spoken. It is said that they could not be drawn and resheathed without tasting the blood of the infidel. They did help to restore peace and sweetness to the realm. But - all good things must pass. The Caballistas tired of the eternal vigilance required as the coin of freedom. Some wandered afar, no doubt to new glory. Some were gripped by ennui and cloaked themselves in new named anonymity. The ringing of their KlownHammers was stilled. A new and more insipid darkness has come to the kingdom. It is not Nemesis that walks the realm. There are no Giants to be toppled. There are no Dragons to be slain. There is an idle sort of meanness. There is a foolish disrespect. There is a graying of the flesh and a chilling of the heart. It is said that this does not pass unnoticed. It is said that there are distant cries of once familiar voices, bohn mots not heard nor shared in recent memory are tossed into the light, great figures from an earlier age gather themselves round the fire and hold their councils. It is said that the KlownHammers of old are being stoned and boned and paddylacked - made ready for the hard work that must be done. The villagers clot together and speak in hopeful whispers. There is more, of course. "The Lost Chronicles of Deja" explain much but they are……lost. The old ones have grown careful in their speaking. I, myself, am weary and must take my rest. Enough for now… (The madly shrieking woodgnome crazylegs his way back beneath the fatwood pile and peers, darkly, into the dust muted gloom of the shop. He awaits the susurrant scything swoosh that marks the coming of the KlownHammer.) Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ |
#2
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klownhammer
"Tom Watson" wrote in message ... I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. What are you talking about? |
#3
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
In article , Tom Watson
wrote: He awaits the susurrant scything swoosh that marks the coming of the KlownHammer. Alas, the Wielders of the Klownhammers have faded into the Blessed Lands, and the Long September is truly come to the Land of Men. This, too, shall pass and be forgotten. |
#4
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
You left out Jimmy Mac and his wood.
"Tom Watson" wrote in message ... I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. A pastoral setting: Pukey Ducks, dripping Polyurinestain, graze on the green swards. Stacks of freshly planed pallet wood sit curing in the driveway, the sun winking merrily on the freshly cut nail heads. O'Deen chats up a dewaxed blonde, plotting to lower her resistance to flow with some of his 200 proof reserve. Duke of URL's guiltily ogles the newest silicone spray enhanced beauty in the Delta Tool Porn Centerfold but this only gives rise to thoughts of putting the wood to his faithful, ever-accommodating Unisaur. JOAT posts plans for pointy sticks and cheerfully answers his voluminous email. Davey Eisan sits next to a new fishing rod, reading Trollope until his lips get numb. Normites, Neanders, Galoots, Royds - all live in harmony. There were no Men In Doorways, no Joes Blowing, no Woodpeckers, nothing BAD at all. We needed only Species Level Filters in those days - any human being was welcomed to the Golden Wrecktangle. But - a foul darkness was growing in the land. The beginning of what was to become known as "The War of the Bennetts" was at hand. "The War of the Bennetts" is thought to be explicated and celebrated in "The Lost Chronicles of Deja". Let it suffice for now to say that confusion and disorder were everywhere. It was an age without wisdom, without charm, without respect, without. it was pretty bad. But there were great men, tall and broad, about in those days. Some say they were the progeny of the Nephilim but the truth is lost in the mists of time. What is known is that they formed that great mysterium tremens, The Cabal, and swore an oath to restore order, justice and respect. They mounted their Unisaurs and rode to glory. And - what did they hold high, what did they wield to smite their snarling foes? KlownHammers. As the Samurai has his sword, as the Minuteman has his long rifle, as the Jedi has his light saber, the Caballista has his KlownHammer. The original KlownHammers were forged and awarded during "The War of the Bennetts". Their makeup and measures are shrouded in secrecy. Their numbers are known but not spoken. It is said that they could not be drawn and resheathed without tasting the blood of the infidel. They did help to restore peace and sweetness to the realm. But - all good things must pass. The Caballistas tired of the eternal vigilance required as the coin of freedom. Some wandered afar, no doubt to new glory. Some were gripped by ennui and cloaked themselves in new named anonymity. The ringing of their KlownHammers was stilled. A new and more insipid darkness has come to the kingdom. It is not Nemesis that walks the realm. There are no Giants to be toppled. There are no Dragons to be slain. There is an idle sort of meanness. There is a foolish disrespect. There is a graying of the flesh and a chilling of the heart. It is said that this does not pass unnoticed. It is said that there are distant cries of once familiar voices, bohn mots not heard nor shared in recent memory are tossed into the light, great figures from an earlier age gather themselves round the fire and hold their councils. It is said that the KlownHammers of old are being stoned and boned and paddylacked - made ready for the hard work that must be done. The villagers clot together and speak in hopeful whispers. There is more, of course. "The Lost Chronicles of Deja" explain much but they are..lost. The old ones have grown careful in their speaking. I, myself, am weary and must take my rest. Enough for now. (The madly shrieking woodgnome crazylegs his way back beneath the fatwood pile and peers, darkly, into the dust muted gloom of the shop. He awaits the susurrant scything swoosh that marks the coming of the KlownHammer.) Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ |
#5
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klownhammer
Leon wrote:
You left out Jimmy Mac and his wood. The handles of the klownhammers were of Jummywood were they not? charlie b |
#6
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klownhammer
He's reminiscing. It's a good story, with some cryptic referrals to
characters from long past, but "BAD" (Bay Area Dave) is kind of still around. There is no cabal. Tom. Toller wrote: "Tom Watson" wrote in message ... I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. What are you talking about? |
#7
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klownhammer
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#8
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
The Leebrary might know that answer.
On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 21:09:44 -0800, charlie b wrote: Leon wrote: You left out Jimmy Mac and his wood. The handles of the klownhammers were of Jummywood were they not? charlie b |
#9
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klownhammer
Tom Watson wrote: I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. Last KlownHammer I saw was on eBay, with a faux Grandma Moses painted on the side... |
#10
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
Do you know where I might find some free klownhammer plans? Muckleshed?
-- Stoutman www.garagewoodworks.com |
#11
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klownhammer
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#12
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
Tom Watson wrote: I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. A pastoral setting: Pukey Ducks, dripping Polyurinestain, graze on the green swards. Stacks of freshly planed pallet wood sit curing in the driveway, the sun winking merrily on the freshly cut nail heads. O'Deen chats up a dewaxed blonde, plotting to lower her resistance to flow with some of his 200 proof reserve. Duke of URL's guiltily ogles the newest silicone spray enhanced beauty in the Delta Tool Porn Centerfold but this only gives rise to thoughts of putting the wood to his faithful, ever-accommodating Unisaur. JOAT posts plans for pointy sticks and cheerfully answers his voluminous email. Davey Eisan sits next to a new fishing rod, reading Trollope until his lips get numb. Normites, Neanders, Galoots, Royds - all live in harmony. There were no Men In Doorways, no Joes Blowing, no Woodpeckers, nothing BAD at all. We needed only Species Level Filters in those days - any human being was welcomed to the Golden Wrecktangle. But - a foul darkness was growing in the land. The beginning of what was to become known as "The War of the Bennetts" was at hand. "The War of the Bennetts" is thought to be explicated and celebrated in "The Lost Chronicles of Deja". Let it suffice for now to say that confusion and disorder were everywhere. It was an age without wisdom, without charm, without respect, without... it was pretty bad. But there were great men, tall and broad, about in those days. Some say they were the progeny of the Nephilim but the truth is lost in the mists of time. What is known is that they formed that great mysterium tremens, The Cabal, and swore an oath to restore order, justice and respect. They mounted their Unisaurs and rode to glory. And - what did they hold high, what did they wield to smite their snarling foes? KlownHammers. As the Samurai has his sword, as the Minuteman has his long rifle, as the Jedi has his light saber, the Caballista has his KlownHammer. The original KlownHammers were forged and awarded during "The War of the Bennetts". Their makeup and measures are shrouded in secrecy. Their numbers are known but not spoken. It is said that they could not be drawn and resheathed without tasting the blood of the infidel. They did help to restore peace and sweetness to the realm. But - all good things must pass. The Caballistas tired of the eternal vigilance required as the coin of freedom. Some wandered afar, no doubt to new glory. Some were gripped by ennui and cloaked themselves in new named anonymity. The ringing of their KlownHammers was stilled. A new and more insipid darkness has come to the kingdom. It is not Nemesis that walks the realm. There are no Giants to be toppled. There are no Dragons to be slain. There is an idle sort of meanness. There is a foolish disrespect. There is a graying of the flesh and a chilling of the heart. It is said that this does not pass unnoticed. It is said that there are distant cries of once familiar voices, bohn mots not heard nor shared in recent memory are tossed into the light, great figures from an earlier age gather themselves round the fire and hold their councils. It is said that the KlownHammers of old are being stoned and boned and paddylacked - made ready for the hard work that must be done. The villagers clot together and speak in hopeful whispers. There is more, of course. "The Lost Chronicles of Deja" explain much but they are......lost. The old ones have grown careful in their speaking. I, myself, am weary and must take my rest. Enough for now... (The madly shrieking woodgnome crazylegs his way back beneath the fatwood pile and peers, darkly, into the dust muted gloom of the shop. He awaits the susurrant scything swoosh that marks the coming of the KlownHammer.) Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ To quote yourself.... Your silly crap is becoming wearisome. |
#13
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klownhammer
Stoutman wrote: Do you know where I might find some free klownhammer plans? Muckleshed? LMAO... First you talk to me, next you want to ignore me, know your talking to me again? Fickle huh? You sure it's no stoutWOMAN? |
#14
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klownhammer
wrote in message
Your silly crap is becoming wearisome. Talk about silly crap ... you disliked it so much that you quoted it again in its entirety?? -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 10/29/06 |
#15
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klownhammer
Do you know where I might find some free klownhammer plans? Muckleshed? LMAO... First you talk to me, next you want to ignore me, know your talking to me again? Lighten up Muckles, it was a joke. I don't need plans, I can design my own klownhammer. Fickle huh? You sure it's no stoutWOMAN? Umm, good one. |
#16
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
On 15 Nov 2006 15:56:00 -0800, knucklehead wrote:
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ To quote yourself.... Your silly crap is becoming wearisome. Hey knucklehead, it wasn't Watson who characterized you as wearisome. Engage your brain before putting your keyboard into gear. |
#17
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klownhammer
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#18
Posted to rec.woodworking
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klownhammer
Toller wrote: What are you talking about? He is talking about events that occurred more than 10 years ago, right here in the wreck. I am one of the "Bennett's" that he is referring to (my last name). The other uses "Bennett" as his first name. Shortly after I started participating in the group, the other Bennett started haunting my every post with trolling, taunting responses designed to incite a flame war. It wasn't at all like TJ's cryptic little stories. These were head-on attacks. Mostly, he was very critical of my products but onced he even started a thread entitled "Ed Bennett must die!". His tactics worked just about every time. Before long he knew all my buttons pretty well and I shot back with flames on a regular basis. There were truces and "cease fires" and all sorts of efforts to end the wars. I don't remember anything about "KnownHammers" but perhaps I was just too caught up in it all. Tom is right, it was BAD! I can't remember exactly how it ended. But in the end there were a number of email messages exchanged and a dozen or so people (who were genuinely interested) being copied. The argument had to do with my claimed angle measurement accuracy. I gave him a Jr. for free. I sent him video tape demonstrating the accuracy of angle blocks and all sorts of stuff. IIRC he eventually got backed into a corner or just ran out of arguments and went away. Most of what I said during the "Bennett Wars" was pretty caustic. It's nothing to be proud of. Bennett was (and probably still is) brilliant. His arguments were very well constructed, reasoning sound and logic impecable. He conducted a debate like someone would play a game of chess. Planning traps to ensnare his opponent several moves in advance. I wasn't his first victim, his skills had been honed over several years (the "Cabal" was a group of his previous vicitms, but of course it doesn't exist). I was no match at all and I am very embarrassed at how I conducted myself. There is one good thing for me that came out of the saga. I had been manufacturing my products and running my business off the knowledge and expertise of those engineers and consultants who helped get me started. Bennett forced me to take personal responsibility for that knowledge and expertise. His criticism compelled me to buy equipment, conduct experiments, and do a rigorous studies of my accuracy claims with statistical analysis of tolerances and measurement uncertainty. Two articles resulted, and formed the first entries in the Technical documentation section of my web site: http://www.ts-aligner.com/tsaccuracy.htm http://www.ts-aligner.com/tsjraccuracy.htm In fact, many of the articles in the Technical Documentation section were prompted by Bennett's criticism of my products. Every time he came up with some reason why my products were no good, I would write an article about the technical details which explained otherwise. So, in spite of all the pain he caused me, I owe Bennett a debt of gratitude. Without his critical taunting, my knowledge and expertise on the topics of Metrology, manufacturing, and machinery alignment wouldn't be anywhere near what they are today. And, he probably taught me a thing or two about woodworking as well (but I would never admit to anything specific ;-)). Thanks, Ed Bennett |
#19
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klownhammer
On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 21:09:44 -0800, charlie b
wrote: Leon wrote: You left out Jimmy Mac and his wood. The handles of the klownhammers were of Jummywood were they not? charlie b Nope. See the new posting KlownHammer. Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ |
#21
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klownhammer
On 15 Nov 2006 15:56:00 -0800, "
wrote: Tom Watson wrote: I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of innocence, a time of - well, let's just say it was a while back. A pastoral setting: snip of entertaining tale of days gone by when I was a young lurker Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ To quote yourself.... Your silly crap is becoming wearisome. y'know, sometimes it amazes me how some problems just jump up and shriek "plonk me! plonk me!" I bet you're a big hit at parties. Mike Mike Patterson Please remove the spamtrap to email me. "I always wanted to be somebody...I should have been more specific..." - Lily Tomlin |
#22
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klownhammer
Tom Watson wrote: That was a damned fine explication, Ed. Thank you Tom, I am glad you approve of my exegesis. They was some mighty wars but they was interesting and informative. For some it held an interest. For some it was torture! Let me take this opportunity to tell you that I have total respect for what you do and what you make and how you present yourself. I appreciate that. My concern has always been to keep woodorking available to everyone, even folks who own a BT-3000. WoodDorking is a broad spectrum and there is room for all within it, be they dudes with engineer mentalities or those who just want to make a pukey duck that doesn't fall apart. Absolutely. So, it would be appropriate to share how one would do a task themselves. It would also be appropriate to recommend a particular tool and/or technique to another. But, it would be counterproductive to follow up such a message to say that the particular tool and/or technique in question was unnecessary. And, it would not be appropriate to demean others and characterize them with unflattering descriptions just because they advocate a particular tool or method to solve a particular problem. Correct? I think that the discussion of appropriate accuracy in measurement could go on forever - and maybe it should. But everyone should get to play. It should be Mahayana, not Theraveda, in my view, although I am willing and in anticipation of being corrected. Mahayana: the branch of Buddhism that includes Tibetan, Chinese, and Zen Buddhism, developed around ad 1. It stresses compassion for all sentient beings and universal salvation. The Theravada Buddhists believe that they practice the original form of Buddhism as it was handed down to them by Buddha. Not so much a correction.... Are you saying that we should accept all tools and methods with respect for those who embrace them and recognize that they all lead to completed projects of the highest quality? This would seem to be the Mahayana branch of woodworking. And, would you also be implying that we should not be dogmatic about any one particular set of tools or methods as if they are the only ones truely sanctified for the completion of the highest quality of woodwork? This would seem to be the Theravada branch of woodworking. My best wishes to you in you business pursuits and my best wishes to you as a decent dude. And, mine to you and yours as well. Our conversation has been and will continue to be an absolute pleasure. Ed Bennett http://www.ts-aligner.com |
#23
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klownhammer
On 15 Nov 2006 19:17:14 -0800, wrote:
Tom Watson wrote: My concern has always been to keep woodorking available to everyone, even folks who own a BT-3000. WoodDorking is a broad spectrum and there is room for all within it, be they dudes with engineer mentalities or those who just want to make a pukey duck that doesn't fall apart. Absolutely. So, it would be appropriate to share how one would do a task themselves. It would also be appropriate to recommend a particular tool and/or technique to another. But, it would be counterproductive to follow up such a message to say that the particular tool and/or technique in question was unnecessary. And, it would not be appropriate to demean others and characterize them with unflattering descriptions just because they advocate a particular tool or method to solve a particular problem. Correct? Ed: Do me this one favor. Go back to the post that initiated our most recent colloquy and look at it carefully. The first character described was clearly from another age. Read it again and you will see that. My point was that our forefathers made perfectly good furniture, some of it approaching the level of genius, without recourse to what we moderns have available to us. It was not another argument of Normite v. Neander. My point was and is that we must not be too caught up in the technology of our craft to the degree that it may overcome the true intent of making. I worry about the gadgeteers, who think that the purchase of this or that will surely make them a craftsman. You know, as well as I do, that this is not the true path. Mahayana may be characterized as the Big Raft that embraces all. Theraveda speaks of mysteries that are only available to the chosen. I'm too much of an American to like that concept. I worry about newbies that will take your speaking as the only true gospel and will say to themselves, "I'm not going anywhere with this hobby. The ante is too high." Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ |
#24
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klownhammer
"Tom Watson" wrote in message ... Ed: Do me this one favor. Go back to the post that initiated our most recent colloquy and look at it carefully. The first character described was clearly from another age. Read it again and you will see that. My point was that our forefathers made perfectly good furniture, some of it approaching the level of genius, without recourse to what we moderns have available to us. It was not another argument of Normite v. Neander. My point was and is that we must not be too caught up in the technology of our craft to the degree that it may overcome the true intent of making. I worry about the gadgeteers, who think that the purchase of this or that will surely make them a craftsman. You know, as well as I do, that this is not the true path. Mahayana may be characterized as the Big Raft that embraces all. Theraveda speaks of mysteries that are only available to the chosen. I'm too much of an American to like that concept. I worry about newbies that will take your speaking as the only true gospel and will say to themselves, "I'm not going anywhere with this hobby. The ante is too high." Wow, Tom, I think we gave poor Ed the ole 1, 2 punch. LOL.. He and I were discussing the same concept last week IIRC. I too respect Ed and his products but like you, I know that there is more than one way to skin a cat. ;~) |
#25
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klownhammer
That was me expressing a sense of humour....
god you guys are tensy. |
#26
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klownhammer
In article ,
Tom Watson writes: I take you back to an earlier time: A sweeter time, a time of [snip] Sorry, Tom. Nostalgia just ain't what it used to be. there are distant cries of once familiar voices, bohn mots not heard "bohn mots" hee hee hee. (Of course you realize that the pronunciation is incorrect here.) explain much but they are……lost. The old ones have grown careful in their speaking. Or just plain bored. (Note OBWW!) -- Jeff Thunder, charter member of Wreck Hell Dept. of Mathematical Sciences Northern Illinois Univ. jthunder at math dot niu dot edu |
#27
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klownhammer
You are back !!!
Good to "see" you again. Where did you go ? Jeffrey Thunder wrote: Sorry, Tom. Nostalgia just ain't what it used to be. |
#28
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klownhammer
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#29
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klownhammer
Duke of Burl wrote:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.w...da8d922ecf68a9 "Spit takes" are funny - in a movie or play. Not so funny in front of a monitor - once the laughter has subsided. As the father of two boys, this particular tale is one of my Walt Akers favorites, Black Snakes, Wood Piles and Justice being another. charlie b (nice diversion away from The Cabal . . .) |
#30
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klownhammer
On 20 Nov 2006 15:44:40 -0800, "Duke of Burl"
wrote: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.w...da8d922ecf68a9 Walt Akers is Gosh! Regards, Tom Watson tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/ |
#31
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klownhammer
"Duke of Burl" wrote in
oups.com: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.w.../thread/ca6c41 0c2be06a90/bada8d922ecf68a9?lnk=st&q=walt+akers+%22clock+inci dent&rnum= 1&hl=en#bada8d922ecf68a9 A woodworker with grandsons can REALLY appreciate this story. Thanks again! Patriarch |
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