DIYbanter

DIYbanter (https://www.diybanter.com/)
-   Woodworking (https://www.diybanter.com/woodworking/)
-   -   robots (https://www.diybanter.com/woodworking/153450-robots.html)

mike hide April 15th 06 02:30 PM

robots
 
..A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"

The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about


global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and
sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the

perfectly
prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responds, "about a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's

body
parts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot

one
more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks,
"What's your IQ?"

The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."

And the robot says... real slowly,

"So... is... your... party... gonna... nominate... Hillary... for...
president ???




Leon April 15th 06 02:36 PM

robots
 
Gooden

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"

The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about

global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and
sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
perfectly
prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responds, "about a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's
body
parts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
one
more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks,
"What's your IQ?"

The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."

And the robot says... real slowly,

"So... is... your... party... gonna... nominate... Hillary... for...
president ???






[email protected] April 15th 06 04:23 PM

robots
 
Hey, great! I got one:

The President climbed out of his helicopter in front of the White House
carrying a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said:
"Nice pigs, sir."

The President replied: "Marine, these are not pigs, these are authentic
Texas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice President Cheney and I got
another for Karl Rove."

The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice
trade, sir!"


Frank Drackman April 15th 06 08:44 PM

robots
 

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?



mike hide April 15th 06 08:55 PM

robots
 

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
. ..

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?

Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?



Lew Hodgett April 15th 06 10:15 PM

robots
 
Frank Drackman wrote:

What does this have to do with woodworking?


Take your meds and go back to sleep.

Lew


Frank Drackman April 15th 06 10:19 PM

OT robots
 

"mike hide" wrote in message
...

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
. ..

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?

Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?


My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups get cluttered
with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.

When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
our current President, next we get a response to the responce.

There are plenty of groups dedicated to political discussions/jokes. Why
not post your message there?



Morris Dovey April 15th 06 10:43 PM

OT robots
 
Frank Drackman (in ) said:

| My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused
| on woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups
| get cluttered with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't
| want them to go away.

That does, indeed, sometimes happen. Mike has been one of the key
contributors that you're not wanting to go away...

| When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
| Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative
| about our current President, next we get a response to the responce.

Well, there is that ... and it /does/ seem unlikely that anyone will
jump in to say something _positive_ about any of the current staff of
the executive branch. ;-)

At the moment, tho, it would appear that the majority of posts in this
thread consists of your posts and the responses to your posts
discussing topicality...

| There are plenty of groups dedicated to political
| discussions/jokes. Why not post your message there?

Hmm. I would suggest that perhaps you're linking politics and humor
more closely than need be...

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto



tom April 15th 06 11:00 PM

OT robots
 
Mr. Drackman wrote:snipWhen you post something like the above there is
a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative
about
our current President, next we get a response to the responcesnip

I don't think we need a
"Democratic" for that to happen. Tom


Robert Bonomi April 15th 06 11:38 PM

robots
 
In article ,
Mike Marlow wrote:

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
...

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?



It was a mahogany bar.


And the drink was an almond daiquiri. {do I need to explain?}




Jim Northey April 16th 06 12:48 AM

robots
 

"Mike Marlow" wrote in message
...

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
. ..

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?



It was a mahogany bar.

--

-Mike-



If the drink was a martini the olive would of been impaled on a pointy
stick. Would you like plans for that? :-)



CW April 16th 06 01:26 AM

OT robots
 
No need for that. I'm a republican and I have plenty of bad things to say
about Bush.

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
...

When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
our current President,




Buddy Matlosz April 16th 06 01:31 AM

OT robots
 

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
...

"mike hide" wrote in message
...

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
. ..

"mike hide" wrote in message
...
.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.


What does this have to do with woodworking?

Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?


My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups get

cluttered
with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.

When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
our current President, next we get a response to the responce.

There are plenty of groups dedicated to political discussions/jokes. Why
not post your message there?

First day on usenet, Frank?

B.



Enoch Root April 16th 06 01:49 AM

OT robots
 
CW wrote:
No need for that. I'm a republican and I have plenty of bad things to say
about Bush.

"Frank Drackman" wrote in message
...

When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
our current President,


Thank you for saying that. Gives me hope that everybody isn't just
rooting for a "team".

The blue, the green, the red, and the white--some times I feel we're
reliving the lives and times of the romans, and it's enough that we have
bread and games to distract us from what they're doing to us.

er
--
email not valid

Dave Balderstone April 16th 06 01:58 AM

robots
 
In article , Frank
Drackman wrote:

What does this have to do with woodworking?


A bar is made of wood.

And, the joke makes fun of Democrats/Liberals, so it's cool with me.

Dave Balderstone April 16th 06 01:58 AM

OT robots
 
In article , Frank
Drackman wrote:

My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
woodworking.


Good luck, Frank.

Wasted effort, me lad.

stoutman April 16th 06 03:06 AM

OT robots
 


with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.


Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere Frank!

And if it makes you feel any better, the 'bar' is made of wood.



George Max April 16th 06 04:09 AM

OT robots
 
On Sat, 15 Apr 2006 17:49:25 -0700, Enoch Root
wrote:

some times I feel we're
reliving the lives and times of the romans, and it's enough that we have
bread and games to distract us from what they're doing to us.

er


amen

Puckdropper April 16th 06 05:09 AM

robots
 
"Mike Marlow" wrote in news:54666$44418c73
:

*snip*



Plans for the martini or the pointy stick?


I've got an idea of how to make the pointy stick, but I'll need a new
tool to do so. ;-)

Puckdropper
--
www.uncreativelabs.net

Old computers are getting to be a lost art. Here at Uncreative Labs, we
still enjoy using the old computers. Sometimes we want to see how far a
particular system can go, other times we use a stock system to remind
ourselves of what we once had.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

mike hide April 16th 06 06:24 AM

robots
 

"Dave Balderstone" wrote in message
news:150420061858342270%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderst one.ca...
In article , Frank
Drackman wrote:

What does this have to do with woodworking?


A bar is made of wood.

And, the joke makes fun of Democrats/Liberals, so it's cool with me.


Just think Frank your comment got more response than the joke. I guess I am
a conservative and I think Republicans are Slightly more so than Democrats.

However, I did think the pig joke was just as good as mine, can't you see
that marine saying "good trade sir"



Mike Marlow April 16th 06 12:45 PM

robots
 

"Puckdropper" wrote in message
reenews.net...
"Mike Marlow" wrote in news:54666$44418c73
:

*snip*



Plans for the martini or the pointy stick?


I've got an idea of how to make the pointy stick, but I'll need a new
tool to do so. ;-)


Indeed. Now that was a perfect "guy" sorta answer.

--

-Mike-




John \(aka wheelzuk\) April 17th 06 03:36 AM

OT robots
 
Perhaps the robots questions were a little wooden too? hmmm.... a robot? maybe the conversations were a little tinny? heck!, ... I'd better cross post to rec.metalworking! ;-))

John
--
Remove 'spamfree' to reply


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2014 DIYbanter