From us ("the wishor") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee")

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally- conscious, socially-responsible,
politically-correct, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a
financially-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted
calendar year 2005, but with due respect for the calendars of choice
of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed,
colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer
platform, or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal;

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall
be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of
the wishor are acknowledged;

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement
any of the wishes;

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or
the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in
certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wishor;

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected
within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year
or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first;

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wishor; and,

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas",
"Our Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether actual or
fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from
them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any
referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

(Author Unknown)