Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.


--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 16/05/2019 18:30, ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.



It took him 30 minutes to unwind 3 or 5 metres of tape ??.


You should have given him a Stanley tape measure made for the
USA domestic market, and calibrated in Feet and Inches, just
for added amusement.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Thursday, 16 May 2019 18:45:08 UTC+1, Andrew wrote:
You should have given him a Stanley tape measure made for the
USA domestic market, and calibrated in Feet and Inches, just
for added amusement.

He'll be able to measure in inches.

Up to about six, anyway :-)

Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

Did he not have a marker with him then?
Brian

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"ARW" wrote in message
...
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and not
drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.


--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

This is what I say about education though. They give them the facts but not
how to apply them or think it through logically themselves.
Brian

--
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The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"ARW" wrote in message
...
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and not
drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.


--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

Brian Gaff wrote

Did he not have a marker with him then?

The bugger isnt allowed those because he uses those to make
snide remarks about what Adam has ****ed lately, like his mum.

"ARW" wrote in message
...
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.


--
Adam

Lonely Psychopathic Senile Ozzie Troll Alert!
 

On Fri, 17 May 2019 18:50:29 +1000, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again:


Did he not have a marker with him then?

The bugger isnt allowed those because he uses those to make
snide remarks about what Adam has ****ed lately, like his mum.

Duh! Spare normally evolved humans your failed attempts at senile "humour",
you totally ****ed up senile Ozzie pest!

--
The Natural Philosopher about senile Rot:
"Rod speed is not a Brexiteer. He is an Australian troll and arsehole."
Message-ID:

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 17/05/2019 08:13, Brian Gaff wrote:
This is what I say about education though. They give them the facts but not
how to apply them or think it through logically themselves.
Brian


That was what University was for, these days its just more facts and no
thought.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Thursday, 16 May 2019 18:45:08 UTC+1, Andrew wrote:
On 16/05/2019 18:30, ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.



It took him 30 minutes to unwind 3 or 5 metres of tape ??.

I'd have given him a vernier calipier and said use this they are far more accurate.

Obviously jeremy corbyn thinks this sort of person is worth £10 an hour.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

In article ,
ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

Could it be he was winding you up? ;-)

--
*Why isn't there a special name for the back of your knee?

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Friday, 17 May 2019 12:26:45 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
Obviously jeremy corbyn thinks this sort of person is worth £10 an hour.

But is that compared to Jeremy Corbyn's intellect or his income?

Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 17/05/2019 12:26, dennis@home wrote:
On 17/05/2019 08:13, Brian Gaff wrote:
This is what I say about education though. They give them the facts
but not
how to apply them or think it through logically themselves.
Â* Brian


That was what University was for, these days its just more facts and no
thought.

We should have stayed in the trees.

It was a mistake teaching the times tables by rote, they became bankers
and accountants ;-(

--
Adrian C

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 17/05/2019 13:33, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

Could it be he was winding you up? ;-)


If he is then he is doing a good job. The same useless ******* could not
get out of a house last week because "the door was locked". It never
occurred to him that the door (like almost every other door in the UK)
opened inwards.

--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

"dennis@home" wrote in message
...
On 17/05/2019 08:13, Brian Gaff wrote:
This is what I say about education though. They give them the facts but
not
how to apply them or think it through logically themselves.
Brian


That was what University was for, these days its just more facts and no
thought.

Thats bull**** with the more technical fields and medicine and the law.

Lonely Psychopathic Senile Ozzie Troll Alert!
 

On Sat, 18 May 2019 05:42:16 +1000, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again:


That was what University was for, these days its just more facts and no
thought.

That¢s bull**** with the more technical fields and medicine and the law.

In auto-contradicting mode again, you clinically insane, auto-contradicting,
senile pest?

--
Sqwertz to Rot Speed:
"This is just a hunch, but I'm betting you're kinda an argumentative
asshole.
MID:

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Friday, May 17, 2019 at 6:30:25 PM UTC+1, ARW wrote:
On 17/05/2019 13:33, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

Could it be he was winding you up? ;-)


If he is then he is doing a good job. The same useless ******* could not
get out of a house last week because "the door was locked". It never
occurred to him that the door (like almost every other door in the UK)
opened inwards.

--
Adam

https://www.flickr.com/photos/tmlsb/228428783

;-)

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Thu, 16 May 2019 18:30:36 +0100, ARW
wrote:

A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

What qualifications are needed for the position?

I would have thought O level standards in maths and a science subject
would be a must.

I know the goverment has spent years screwing Britains educational
system up, but one or two must have escaped with some ability to
think?


I assume the tape was 1 cm by X metres?

Show him how to measure a beermat using the width of the tape.

Start a lottery to see if he has the nous to translate the idea to a
more longitudinal measuring approach.
AB

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 17/05/2019 23:55, Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp Esq wrote:
On Thu, 16 May 2019 18:30:36 +0100, ARW
wrote:

A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

What qualifications are needed for the position?

I would have thought O level standards in maths and a science subject
would be a must.


O level standards went 30 years ago.



--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Sat, 18 May 2019 12:27:05 +0100, ARW
wrote:

On 17/05/2019 23:55, Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp Esq wrote:
On Thu, 16 May 2019 18:30:36 +0100, ARW
wrote:

A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

What qualifications are needed for the position?

I would have thought O level standards in maths and a science subject
would be a must.


O level standards went 30 years ago.

???

What does an apprentice need then?

I knew Ohms law before leaving secondary school.

Never really needed much more. Just an appreciation of I^R effects
and an ability to factor in reactance.


Never had problems with the theory on mechanical measurements.

Used to measure twice, cut once. Sadly these days after the second
measurement I can never find the paper I put the first one on.

By the third Measurement I have lost the pen :-(

AB

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Friday, 17 May 2019 21:43:37 UTC+1, jkn wrote:
On Friday, May 17, 2019 at 6:30:25 PM UTC+1, ARW wrote:
On 17/05/2019 13:33, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
ARW wrote:
A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two
fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and
not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

Could it be he was winding you up? ;-)


If he is then he is doing a good job. The same useless ******* could not
get out of a house last week because "the door was locked". It never
occurred to him that the door (like almost every other door in the UK)
opened inwards.

--
Adam

https://www.flickr.com/photos/tmlsb/228428783

;-)

We've had the handles removed on all the push doors to stop students pulling them. But then again it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 20/05/2019 18:58, Andy Burns wrote:
whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

They just like telling people what to do. Try doing the opposite.

--
Max Demian

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Monday, 20 May 2019 18:58:48 UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

My communal front door has a "push to exit" button to release the maglock, but the actual door is a pull-to-exit.

Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 20/05/2019 18:58, Andy Burns wrote:
whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.


(manual) Sliding doors are particularly troublesome in public
areas.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

Andrew wrote:
On 20/05/2019 18:58, Andy Burns wrote:
whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.


(manual) Sliding doors are particularly troublesome in public
areas.


On a Rugby trip to Paris after a decent drinking session we retired to the
hotel as dawn broke,
Lying on the step of the hotel which was so low budget it didnt have
anyone visibly around at night on reception there was a shivering sodden
bundle which turned out to be a colleague who had headed for bed*before
midnight but had spent some hours outside the entrance in the rain.
€œ ****ers have locked the door * he said The look on his face and
expletives he came out were a joy to behold as someone gently slid the
sliding door open.

* It wasnt that he couldnt drink but the bed he intended to end up in
wasnt at the hotel as he went off with a good looking girl with a grin on
his face that you couldnt remove with a scrubbing brush only to discover
he had been played for free drinks and a taxi home.
We naturally were full of sympathy and so concerned that hypothermia may
have affected his memory
told everyone he knew about the incident over the next few weeks.

Still, got him out of a wedding that he couldnt afford. Thats what mates
are for.

GH

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Monday, 20 May 2019 18:58:48 UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

That's the problem it confuses some students who stand and pull a door that should be pushed, it can take until the second year until the figure it out ;-)

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 11:04:04 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
That's the problem it confuses some students who stand and pull a
door that should be pushed, it can take until the second year
until the figure it out ;-)

My cat worked out which doors were pull and which were push (he could do the push ones by hanging from the handle, but couldn't pull).

So now undergraduates are thicker than my cat?

Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

In article ,
wrote:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 11:04:04 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
That's the problem it confuses some students who stand and pull a
door that should be pushed, it can take until the second year
until the figure it out ;-)

My cat worked out which doors were pull and which were push (he could do
the push ones by hanging from the handle, but couldn't pull).

So now undergraduates are thicker than my cat?

I'd blame the staff. ;-)

--
*Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 13:59:08 UTC+1, wrote:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 11:04:04 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
That's the problem it confuses some students who stand and pull a
door that should be pushed, it can take until the second year
until the figure it out ;-)

My cat worked out which doors were pull and which were push (he could do the push ones by hanging from the handle, but couldn't pull).

So now undergraduates are thicker than my cat?

Not sure, but how did your cat push a door by hanging on to the handle ?

Students do learn though after 3-4 years of being here.


Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 15:47:03 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
Not sure, but how did your cat push a door by hanging on to the handle ?

He jumped up and caught the handle, and forward momentum was sufficient to open the door.

We still had to get up and close it after him, of course.

Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 16:39:41 UTC+1, wrote:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 15:47:03 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
Not sure, but how did your cat push a door by hanging on to the handle ?

He jumped up and caught the handle, and forward momentum was sufficient to open the door.

We still had to get up and close it after him, of course.

Well of course, he expects nothing less of his staff.


Owain

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 20/05/2019 21:50, wrote:
On Monday, 20 May 2019 18:58:48 UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

My communal front door has a "push to exit" button to release the maglock, but the actual door is a pull-to-exit.


Well there's another story. Different apprentice watching me get out of
certain building to get the the van. Now the trick is to either drop the
door exit break glass or if it's a plastic one to just press it. You
just reset the BG when you come back into the building.


He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(


--
Adam

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 21/05/2019 19:25, ARW wrote:

He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

Red-green colour blindness is surprisingly common in men... Lots of
online tests.

Andy

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:25:35 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
On 20/05/2019 21:50, wrote:
On Monday, 20 May 2019 18:58:48 UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

My communal front door has a "push to exit" button to release the maglock, but the actual door is a pull-to-exit.


Well there's another story. Different apprentice watching me get out of
certain building to get the the van. Now the trick is to either drop the
door exit break glass or if it's a plastic one to just press it. You
just reset the BG when you come back into the building.


He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

In some places here they have them right next to each other which is pretty stupid thing to do.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

In article ,
Vir Campestris wrote:
On 21/05/2019 19:25, ARW wrote:

He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

Red-green colour blindness is surprisingly common in men... Lots of
online tests.

Not ideal for a sparks, I'd say?

--
*Never kick a cow pat on a hot day *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:50:39 UTC+1, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
Vir Campestris wrote:
On 21/05/2019 19:25, ARW wrote:

He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

Red-green colour blindness is surprisingly common in men... Lots of
online tests.

Not ideal for a sparks, I'd say?

Wasn't that one of the reasons the live/neutral wire colours changed.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

In article ,
whisky-dave wrote:
On Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:50:39 UTC+1, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
Vir Campestris wrote:
On 21/05/2019 19:25, ARW wrote:

He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

Red-green colour blindness is surprisingly common in men... Lots of
online tests.

Not ideal for a sparks, I'd say?

Wasn't that one of the reasons the live/neutral wire colours changed.

Yes - but more for the general public.

--
*Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

On 22/05/2019 11:32, whisky-dave wrote:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:25:35 UTC+1, ARW wrote:
On 20/05/2019 21:50, wrote:
On Monday, 20 May 2019 18:58:48 UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

My communal front door has a "push to exit" button to release the maglock, but the actual door is a pull-to-exit.


Well there's another story. Different apprentice watching me get out of
certain building to get the the van. Now the trick is to either drop the
door exit break glass or if it's a plastic one to just press it. You
just reset the BG when you come back into the building.


He got confused between the green door exit BG and the red fire alarm
call point. And the fire alarm was linked to the fire station:-(

In some places here they have them right next to each other which is pretty stupid thing to do.

I worked with a guy who while checking instrumentation on the exhaust of
an industrial, flexographic, print machine (the sort of thing that
prints a million crips packets or more a day), pushed the emergency stop
to ensure that no-one attempted to restart it (only for his readings, he
didn't need to access the machine itself) - only he pushed the green
one, instead of the red one and filled the machine with dry powder from
the extinguisher system. It took days to clear up.

SteveW

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

Max Demian Wrote in message:
On 20/05/2019 18:58, Andy Burns wrote:
whisky-dave wrote:

it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles
on them which are, in fact, also pushable.

They just like telling people what to do. Try doing the opposite.


With a rebel yell?
--
Jim K


----Android NewsGroup Reader----
http://usenet.sinaapp.com/

Apprentice with a tape measure problem
 

whisky-dave Wrote in message:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 16:39:41 UTC+1, wrote:
On Tuesday, 21 May 2019 15:47:03 UTC+1, whisky-dave wrote:
Not sure, but how did your cat push a door by hanging on to the handle ?

He jumped up and caught the handle, and forward momentum was sufficient to open the door.

We still had to get up and close it after him, of course.

Well of course, he expects nothing less of his staff.


Owain



Electrified door handles (as elsewhere)... aka "Correctional
Therapy" ;-)
--
Jim K


----Android NewsGroup Reader----
http://usenet.sinaapp.com/